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Post by lordgnaw on Sept 23, 2007 0:58:40 GMT -5
Chuck norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
Chuck Norris can touch M.C. Hammer
When Chuck Norris Shaves, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
There is enough power in one of Chucks roundhouse kicks that it can power the entire country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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Post by peram on Sept 23, 2007 1:24:41 GMT -5
Its actually possible for Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick you yesterday
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Post by owesome on Sept 23, 2007 11:08:28 GMT -5
There's no chin under chuck norris' beard, only another fist
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Post by peram on Sept 23, 2007 11:16:22 GMT -5
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom because there is no protection from chuck norris
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck norris
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there
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Post by owesome on Sept 23, 2007 11:17:47 GMT -5
lol good ones
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Post by peram on Sept 23, 2007 11:20:14 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass...at night
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Post by owesome on Sept 23, 2007 11:27:26 GMT -5
I can too, douse the magnifying glass in gasoline, light it on fire then throw it on the ant
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Post by lordgnaw on Sept 23, 2007 11:46:16 GMT -5
thats owesome, owesome.
Chuck Norris can never have a heart attack because his heart knows better than to attack Chuck Norris.
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IOwnedYou
Member
The Man With The Tophat[M:200]
I knew it...
Posts: 2,247
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Post by IOwnedYou on Sept 24, 2007 18:41:42 GMT -5
hehehehe... Weird yet satisfying jokes.
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Post by smashbro on Sept 24, 2007 18:58:32 GMT -5
thats a good one, the heart
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
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Post by smashbro on Sept 24, 2007 18:58:52 GMT -5
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
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Post by smashbro on Sept 24, 2007 18:59:24 GMT -5
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Post by smashbro on Sept 24, 2007 19:06:43 GMT -5
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period
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Post by smashbro on Sept 25, 2007 19:56:36 GMT -5
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
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Post by smashbro on Sept 25, 2007 20:01:38 GMT -5
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
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smashbro ~~~ Authority: 20 ~~~ Combat: 10
