Post by bobsnicket on Aug 20, 2008 18:02:48 GMT -5
Chapter 15: The Other Laboratory
{3} The Mad Genius
www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/n64/index-classic.html Donkey Kong 64, Frantic Factory (SSBM Remix)
The thick steel door creaked ominously as the 4-foot professor proceeded with extreme caution into the black laboratory. Gadd felt extremely anxious, even fearful, about simply waltzing into the domain of his nemesis without invitation, or, more importantly, any idea of what could await him inside. And the great room of the interior of Reeka’s base appeared just as the old man had imagined it.
The ceiling of this large enclosure was nigh six stories high, and its area extended hundreds of feet both lengthwise and widthwise (the length being approximately two-thirds longer). There were doors located around the walls of the extensive room leading, no doubt, to other research and experimental districts. In the very center of the establishment was a towering column of glass, a couple feet in diameter, which extended from the black floor all the way up to the distant ceiling above. There, the tube branched off into several polished pipelines which zigzagged, turned, looped, and branched off along the vast black walls. Inside this vertical glass tube was the same sickly, fuming green mixture which had been distributed by the small hovering mechanized workers to the previously-existing Spawning Domes outside. The liquid filled the column about one-third of the way up, its contained fumes rising to the top. Horizontal rings of fluorescent light of alternating red and purple color encompassed the lab by running along the perimeter and curving over pipelines. There was another rod of light wending its way around the interior for every couple yards of height, providing plenty of visibility, but creating the effect of a twisted, alien presence at work. And even with this lighting, there were plenty of shadows and dark spaces and corners which seemed very uninviting. A winding metal staircase rose like a corkscrew to the higher levels of the lab, which were accessible via railed metal walkways going along the perimeter parallel to the lights. The vicinity around the central column of glass had a wide ground which sloped up and around the column and back down to complete the cycle; this ground was covered in a metal plating which reflected the uncomfortable red and purple light radiated from the walls. Just from this room, the whirring and beeping of the control panel at the base of the column could be heard, but many other noises, including the rushing of liquid, buzzing, the sound of mechanized movement, drilling, and spinning, and even a bubbling, gurgling noise.
Everything Professor E. Gadd saw, heard, and felt at this point made him feel so very unwelcome (even though he was technically invading it), and intimidated him inexpressibly; he felt as if all his work back at his lab, all his experiments, inventions, and ideas, were utter foolishness and uselessness in comparison to the impressiveness of his cousin’s work. The only thing keeping him from turning back and fleeing was his determination to do his part as leader of the Nintendo Alliance, and as most likely the only one who stood a chance in disestablishing this infernal hole of abominations. Remembering Piranha Gohma, he didn’t want to even begin to consider what else he might find here. Gadd drew up all the courage he could muster, virtually defenseless save his ingenious mind, and began walking slowly forward.
The professor’s black shoes clanged on the metal surface, in reality not significant in comparison to the dozens of technological sounds, but to Gadd it seemed to overpower all other noise, resounding through the whole lab to alert the one in charge. But there was no response; on further inspection, Gadd saw that there were two doors on each of the walls to his left and right, both walls about a hundred feet away. He looked up again at the rows of lights and railed walkways, but saw no moving figures. Then, seeing the complicated control panel at the base of the vertical tube covered with flashing buttons, switches, levers, touch screens, and keypads, the scientist began to approach it. This array of input devices reminded him of the control panel Reeka had used on his life-sized model of Death Mountain, the one which he, E. Gadd, had been slammed into and caused the volcanic mountain to erupt, destroying everything he had ever loved…
www.imeem.com/yoshidark/music/WDvqi8FV/nintendo_luigis_mansion_theme/
“Yes, familiar, isn’t it?” the similar but slightly higher-pitched voice fringed with a touch of insanity said observantly.
Professor E. Gadd turned around to see that which he’d hoped never to see again: the ashy brown tuft of hair, the small pointy teeth, the dark grey lab coat, and, most of all, the diamond-shaped glasses covering the ingenious derangement of Professor U. Reeka’s eyes. His cousin was now between him and the exit; there was no going back now.
U. Reeka gave a sharp-toothed smile. “In fact, Elvin, this actually is the same control panel; after the force of your body caused it to malfunction and everyone went into a panic, I salvaged the broken remains, modified it, and designed it for a new purpose.” This feign of friendliness did nothing to Gadd’s sense of imminent hostility. Reeka’s glasses glinted. “And you know what that purpose is, don’t you, cousin?”
The non-maniacal professor decided it may as well be worth making conversation with his evil nemesis: perhaps he could catch him off guard. “How did you survive? Your body was said to have been found dead outside your lab in the Icicle Mountains.”
“Really, Elvin? I think you could answer that question yourself. But if you want confirmation, I’ll be glad to oblige. My lab on Mountain # 32 was located there for two purposes. First, to get as far away from you as possible, where you wouldn’t think to search for me. Not that I thought you would search at all; no, I always knew you would be too afraid to seek revenge on me, but I have always remembered how your foolish antics destroyed my reputation as the most brilliant scientist in the Nintendo World forever. So I knew I would have to be the one to strike back. Anyways, the second reason for building a base in the Icicle Mountains was that it gave me an environment where I could study and experiment several fascinating subjects at once: the wild creatures, the manipulation of the elements, and the astrology of the stars. I was successful, for the first time, in combining the DNA of a Polar Bear and a Topi into one creature: a prototype I called a Topi Bear. I decided to let my creation roam free to see how it reacted to the natural environment, and have discovered that fused beings are completely independent, not feeling any relation or connection to other beings of one of the species from which they were made. Local hikers and skiers, amusingly enough, refer to it as the Abominable Snowman. I also learned enough from the stars about the Seven Star Spirits and the Star Rod to become aware of their power, only available through the granting of sincere wishes. I have shared my concerns with my Master about the Spirits, and, as evidently demonstrated in the Battle of Fourside, they had potency and, until then, were a considerable threat. But now that their Star Rod has been drained of power for an indeterminable amount of time, there is nothing left to fear from them. The only subject, it seemed, in which I did not have much success was in manipulation of the weather.
“You see, I knew that if I could gain control of the elements, I would have supreme power over the entire planet, able to completely annihilate an entire island at my faintest whim. But I was unable to successfully identify the formula for the cold fusion which I needed in order to build a machine which could do so. I don’t suppose you have made any vain attempts at controlling the natural forces of temperature and atmospheric change, Elvin?”
Gadd, despite himself and his caution, could not help but be interested in the wondrous sciences which his dastardly cousin had been studying. “Actually, Reeka, yes I have. By condensing and energizing the atoms of any material object and then propelling the pressurized matter into open air, I can send any item or person by atomic heating through the air as a tiny particle to any destination. I call it the Eleportationizer 1000.”
Reeka gave a short, delirious laugh. “You would do that! Using atomic heating or whichever other science to benefit mankind…that’s always been your aim, hasn’t it? To make everyone happy and so dependent on technology that they don’t have to hardly lift a finger! You haven’t changed much, Elvin, I’m sorry to say.”
“And I’m sorry to say,” E. Gadd said with emphasis, “that neither have you. But still, you leave my inquiry unanswered. How did you survive when the authorities found your deceased corpse and buried it in a cemetery a week later?”
Professor U. Reeka kept up his demented grin. “You know how I am with biology. I love to explore every possibility, every path, every probability, and every result. And in that mountain laboratory, which was plasma-heated, by the way, I finally managed to accomplish something I had been striving to do for quite some time: I created a clone of myself.
“And knowing that the authorities or someone or other was bound to eventually come upon my lab, I decided to use my clone as false evidence of my supposed death. I suffocated it inside its life tank, and then took it out and left it in the snow, just out of sight of the lab. Sure enough, someone found it, and the great Professor U. Reeka was forgotten for a time.
“But still, I was forced to flee the Icicle Mountains, for the authorities would search the entire area when finding someone of my reputation, and I knew they would not hesitate to break into my lab. Using one of my many effective methods of transportation, I exiled myself once again, but this time headed into the Battlefields, and then to Master Hand’s front door. He received me well, knowing the invaluable support I could provide for the fulfillment of his magnificent ideas. So he and I made a pact: that I would devote myself and my talents to his service, and he in return would guarantee my protection and supremacy over my enemies. Now that pact is about to be completed. And here I am before you today, Elvin: more powerful, better funded, and soon to be a greater scientist than you ever were, or ever will be.”
“I find myself having an extremely hard time believing that your story is the truth in its entirety, Reeka,” Professor E. Gadd said, not sure how much longer his cousin would be willing to chatter. “For one thing, how did you acquire the specimens, as you would call them, for these abusive experiments of yours? The Shadow Hand, Piranha Gohma, and whatever is terrorizing my armies as we speak…surely you could not have personally traveled to all of these places and captured each creature, especially the essence of the Shadow Queen. And another thing, I know you well enough to be able to rightfully assume that you would not go through all this work and effort just to come out as a powerful underling; what do you really have planned?”
“Always as inquisitive and curious as ever, cousin.” Reeka gave another chuckle of delirium. “Master Hand, of course, was very early on willing to listen to my requests for my experiments, and as the Supreme Being over this world, had very reasonable means of procuring my specimens. Not the least of these methods was the simple act of conquering the specimen’s homeland, and then allowing me direct access to it. The Shadow Queen’s essence was tough, I will admit, but I eventually attained my goal by swiping a few samples of matter off of one of her only descendents, bottled it, and rushed it back to the lab. That was the only case in which I actually had to make the journey in order to get what I desired, but it was well worth it; Shadow Hand served us well over the course of its short life.” The grey-cloaked professor then spoke in a quieter, discreet voice that was full of corruption and malevolence. “And as for only being a servant, it is true that Master Hand is mightier than even I, and by simple mortal means I would never myself be able to overpower him. But let’s just say that after he has claimed dominion over this world, his trust in me will compel him to gradually allow me to reign beneath him, and as soon as he has entrusted me with enough power to turn against him, he will find himself trying to combat his own power, and by it will be replaced by a more suited Emperor of the Nintendo World--me.” The insanity of Gadd’s nemesis truly manifested itself now as Reeka let out a loud, long, high-pitched cackle of evil triumph which echoed throughout the laboratory for what seemed like an eternity.
He really is mad, Gadd thought. But the problem is, he is both mad and a genius…
The good professor composed himself the best he could and cleared his throat. “Well, Reeka, I come to you with two options: the permanent desisting of your perverse practices and making of destructive weapons as well as your unconditional surrender, or complete and utter destruction. Either way, the evil you are involved in will end here and now; it’s up to you whether you will end with it. I have known you my entire life, and am aware that you are a scientist of exceedingly great knowledge and talent equal to my own, but the manner in which you use your gifts is unacceptably contrary to the preserving of the peace, prosperity, justice, and freedom which is the right of every resident of the Nintendo World. Turn away from your wicked ways now or I will be forced to bring an end to my own cousin along with the tyranny of Master Hand.”
U. Reeka chuckled evilly yet again. “Now we get down to it, the meat and potatoes of our pleasant discussion. But I’m afraid, Elvin, it will not be Master Hand who will be falling, and it will not be me who will be faced with complete and utter destruction. The time has come, my good cousin, for me to showcase the fruits of my sedulity over the past six years. You will come to know of the overwhelming advantage of inventing for power, and at last, I will be able to exact my revenge on the relative who murdered my father and diminished my potency in the eyes of the world. PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MATCH, ELVIN!”
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“NOW!” Professor E. Gadd yelled into the hidden radio communicator on his ear as he dived away from his cousin. Reeka had suddenly pointed his right fist at Gadd and pressed a button on his watch which shot forth a jet of deadly blue electricity at the spot where his rival had just been. Instead, the jet reverberated off the ground and bounced up into the side of the glass pillar, shattering it into millions of pieces. The fuming green liquid poured out of the tube, spilling onto the floor and the control panel, which surged with unbalance and blew its internal fuse, sending a thick stream of smoke up towards the high ceiling. A loud siren went off in response, and a bright red warning light flared in and out.
And burning through the steel front door which Reeka had been blocking with lasers from their eyes were dozens of Combat R.O.B.’s at Gadd’s command, prepared to incapacitate any enemy. With the sense of chaos ensuing, Reeka looked behind him and was enraged by the robotic intruders. “You won’t win that easily, Elvin!” He screamed as he activated a hidden jetpack on his back and escaped into the wide air.
E. Gadd saw his cousin’s actions, and yelled another command to his R.O.B.’s, pointing at the rising form of U. Reeka. “Attack!” Red lasers shot up at the flying figure, but were unable to hit it.
Reeka turned around and released another rapid jet of blue electricity. The jet came into contact with the foremost R.O.B. and immediately blew its fuse, shutting it down. But the electricity wasn’t finished; it chain reacted, leaping from one robot to the next and terminating each one until the room was filled with smoking R.O.B.’s, their eye sockets which were usually filled with yellow life-like light now burnt out, smoking, and shut in defeat.
Reeka’s laugh of insanity faded as the mad scientist fled, ascending the interior of the great building. Gadd pressed a complicated combination of buttons on his watch, and in less than a second, the prototype of his new Poltergust 5000 had zoomed in the lab and parked in front of him. It looked much the same as the 4000, but had several improvements and new features, including the ability to travel vertically as well as horizontally…
Gadd climbed on his machine and took off up the vast chamber after his cousin.
This is it, he thought.
{4} Beach Ball Battle
www.sound-test.org/soundtracks.php?do=preview&gameid=3
Boss 4 - Mr Patch, Strange Wobbly Inflatable Thing!
“Well, maybe it’s not the most creative or fitting of names,” Banjo told Kazooie as they flew towards the huge inflated mutant. “But we have to face this seriously all the same, Kazooie.” As they were coming from behind, Mr. Dragon Patch could not see them at the moment, but was aware of what they were trying to do, and was slowly turning around with its large claws and dragonfly wings.
Below, most of the assaulters, seeing Banjo & Kazooie in the air, decidedly continued their raid and left the boss fight to the Intense-difficulty graduates. Donkey Kong, Tiny, Lanky, and Funky Kong alone had stopped to take out their weaponry and aim it at the giant evil balloon, waiting for it to draw low and close enough for its many vulnerable patches to be within range. But for now, it was up to bear and bird.
“Here we go!” Banjo yelled over the noise of the wind whipping around them. “You know what to do! You see that patch right on the...”
Kazooie, however, wasted no more time with talk, brought her beak back, and rushed the pair forward expeditiously into a large red patch in the rubbery buttocks of Dragon Patch beak-first, which happened to be directly below a long, spiked, dark red dragon tail: it had become part of the demented inflatable.
Mr. Dragon Patch bellowed loudly in pain, and thrashed about as Kazooie’s beak punctured the patch, causing some of his air to deplete from his densely packed gaseous insides. The force of the rushing air pushed Banjo & Kazooie backwards into Patch’s wildly swinging tail, and sent them careening sideways, rolling over and over, until they finally stabilized themselves. By then, Mr. Patch had completely turned around to face them, actual flames flaring from his nostrils in fury.
“Kazooie, be more careful next time! Don’t be so rash!” Banjo cried to his companion after shaking his head back and forth to remove the dizzy feeling.
“Hey clown face!” Kazooie shouted challengingly, completely disregarding Banjo’s warnings. “Did that feel good? No? Well, what are you, a fat, torn up, sorry-excuse-for-a-mutated-dragon-freak gonna do about it? Cough up beach balls at us like last time? Oooh, I’m so scared--“
Banjo reached up with one paw and clamped it around Kazooie’s beak. “Keep your foul beak shut, Kazooie, or we’ll make him really angry…”
“Hmmm…” Kazooie said mockingly while pretending to consider the intensity of Mr. Patch’s building rage. “I’m pretty sure we ticked him off already by stabbing him in the butt, so I think we can safely assume that he’s not in a mood to negotiate.”
“Darn right I’m not!” Mr. Dragon Patch bellowed in his resounding, throaty, balloon-like voice. “Let’s see how well your filthy beak can stab…these!” And sure enough, the inflated dragon wheezed several times and coughed out, as Kazooie had so clearly predicted, beach balls. But the reason why these particular balls would not be easy to stab was because, associating it out of assumption with Patch’s dragon qualities, these beach balls were on fire. And yet they didn’t pop, hurling meteorically at their target like aimed comets and spinning around, flames blazing all about them and in trails behind them. What was more, they didn’t just continue on a worthless path after passing their target, but rather looped around like missiles and came back for a second attempt.
The airborne duo dodged the first several flaming beach balls, but realized this fact as the beach balls came back for them from behind.
“Kazooie!” Banjo shouted. “Think! What counteracts fire?”
“Well, duh! That’s obvious!” Kazooie spat out first these words, and then to follow her special Ice Eggs. Each one, upon contact with a fiery ball, froze the target solid in midair, quenching the flames and all movement including gravity. Then Banjo, while they were flying towards the frozen spheres, quickly took off his backpack with Kazooie in it and swung it at the beach balls, shattering them. The swinging helped to keep the bear in the air.
“Ow! What the heck do you think you’re doing?” Kazooie shrieked as Banjo put the backpack back on so they could continue flying. “You’re only supposed to do that when we’re separated, you bonehead!”
“Oops, sorry,” Banjo apologized, not looking very sorry with his cheeky grin. “I forgot.”
Turning back to Mr. Dragon Patch, it looked as if the inflated beast was moving steadily towards them on his dragonfly wings, preparing for another attack.
“Hold on!” Kazooie yelled, as if Banjo could have let go. The breegull then dived forward towards Mr. Patch while firing at least a dozen grenade eggs aimed in the direction of the remaining patches. The green projectiles zoomed towards their targets as bear and bird swept slightly downward to gain speed and then came up again on the other side to reach the other vulnerabilities.
Mr. Patch croaked in pain as several more holes were punctured in his rubber skin, and he shrunk to about three fifths his original size.
www.sound-test.org/soundtracks.php?do=preview&gameid=2
The Final Fight!
“That’s it!” Dragon Patch bellowed. “No more messing around! Let’s see how well this professor’s upgrades work…” The boss clenched his clawed fists together, and began glowing and shimmering with a red, fiery coating. “Ha! Now not only can you not stab me, but any grenade or explosive object getting within twenty feet of me will instantly detonate uselessly because of the heat radiation these dragonfly abilities render me! Ha ha ha!”
Mr. Patch began advancing towards them again, coughing up more flaming beach balls at an even faster rate. Just to make sure, Kazooie fired one last grenade egg, but as their adversary had so described, it detonated well before reaching its intended target. The heat from both the beach balls and Mr. Dragon Patch himself were beginning to make Banjo & Kazooie sweat.
“What do we do now?” Banjo cried in panic.
In answer, they heard a call from a distance away down below. “Over here!” came the voices of the remaining four Kongs (Dixie and Kiddy Kong, without projectile weapons, were fighting elsewhere). Donkey Kong, Tiny, Lanky, and Funky were waving as they brandished their unique weapons. “Bring it closer!”
With no other possible strategy in mind, Banjo & Kazooie fled obligingly towards the aiming monkeys--that is, they were fleeing both from the flaming beach balls and the mutated dragon freak (using Kazooie’s wording) following close behind them in unhindered fury and thirst for vengeance.
But as soon as they reached the area directly above the Kongs, four burning beach balls closed in from each side and collided into their target at once. Banjo & Kazooie yelled as they were sent hurtling to the ground; the bird was unable to even slow the fall because both of them had caught on fire. Fortunately, a cluster of multi-colored Yoshis watching the scene had gathered together to break their fall, so they landed uninjured. The Yoshis immediately backed away because of the flames burning the tips of Kazooie’s feathers and singing Banjo’s fur. To their rescue came Ellie the Elephant, who dumped a plethora of water over them from her trunk (the water itself coming from who-knew-where), quenching the fire and soaking the two exhausted adventurers.
Meanwhile, at Donkey Kong’s command, all four Kongs simultaneously fired their weapons at Mr. Dragon Patch, who was by now a good deal closer. The ambush was a success: with a combination of DK’s coconuts, Tiny’s red feathers, Lanky’s incredibly painful grapes, and Funky’s oranges, the dragonfly/strange wobbly inflatable object (as he was introduced in the past) was faced with a final barrage of attacks. Coconuts burst through patches despite the flaring red coating of energy, feathers stuck themselves into the rubber creating additional punctures, and grapes acted like purple flavored cannonballs as they hit other vulnerable areas. The oranges, unfortunately, as explosive objects, did not get the same opportunity, and instead burst into orange juice and splattered to the surface.
Now there was only the one patch left: on the left bridge of Mr. Patch’s snout-like nose. Funky, frustrated with the failure of his assistance, drew out his famous Boot Bazooka and pressed the trigger with remarkable accuracy. The brown shoe sped straight at the wailing head.
“NOOOOOOOO!!!!! This show was supposed to be mine!” were the mutant’s last words before the boot smacked Dragon Patch’s head, not merely breaking through the patch, but decapitating the green dragon-like head entirely. The remaining body, half-Patch, half-dragonfly, ceased the red flaring effect, and the rest of the air poured out through the opening where the neck used to connect. The remains sped through the air, propelled by the escaping air, and finally collapsed right in front of them; the Yoshis had had to run away to avoid being covered by it.
The Kongs hollered and screeched in triumph, beating their chests and clapping their hands and feet while hand-standing. Banjo sat up, parts of his previously-brown fur now singed black, his entire coat matted down with water. He looked over to see Kazooie’s wet limp body beside him, and lifted her onto his lap.
“Kazooie, are you alright?” Banjo asked worriedly.
In response, the drenched bird coughed out water, and spat grumpily, “This will take forever to dry!”
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Character Locations
NORTHERN BATTLEFIELDS:
Armies: Pokemon, Bowser's Army, Dedede's Army (fled), Mushroom Kingdom, Beanbean Kingdom, Host of Hyrule (minus Hylian Soldiers), Delfinians, Waffle Kingdom, Shy Guys
Heroes: Bowser, Young Link, Ganondorf, Goombario, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Mr. Game & Watch, Prince Peasley, Toad, Lance, Wes, Gary
Villains: (known) King Boo
SOUTHERN BATTLEFIELDS:
Armies: Kongo Jungle, K. Rool's Army, Icicle Mountains, Yoshis, Jinjos
Heroes: Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Lanky Kong, Tiny Kong, Dixie Kong, Professor E. Gadd, Banjo & Kazooie, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, Dr. Mario
Villains: (known) Professor U. Reeka
CENTER FORMATION:
Armies: Fire Emblem, Star Warriors, Hylian Soldiers
Heroes:Kirby, Bomberman, Link, Marth, Ness, Pac-man, Mario, Baby Mario, Luigi, Baby Luigi, Ice Climbers, Roy, Fox, Falco, Slippy, Peppy, Shadow the Hedgehog
Villains: (known)
MISCELLANEOUS/VARYING:
Armies: Cornerian Fleet, Bounty Hunters, Timber's Island, The Great Sea
Heroes: Pit, Wolf, Leon, Panther, Shadow Sirens, Diddy Kong, Rito Postman
[glow=yellow,2,300]Trophy:[/glow] Pikachu, Princess Peach, Samus, Chunky Kong, Sonic, Wario, Waluigi, Captain Falcon[glow=purple,2,300]Captive:[/glow] Goombella, Toadette, Princess Zelda
[glow=gray,2,300]DECEASED:[/glow] The Shadow Hand, Bottles, Orca, 49 Hammer Bro Soldiers, Pigma, Nascour, Darunia
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