Post by bobsnicket on Aug 8, 2008 0:09:44 GMT -5
Chapter 15: The Other Laboratory
{1} Animal Antics
www.ocremix.org/remix/OCR00722/ (I love this remix...)
Professor E. Gadd took off in his hovercraft with Mumbo, Humba, Banjo, & Kazooie on board as the war commenced. He and the rest of those assigned to push towards the base outside of Master Hand’s room (where the Wire Frames were being created and all their technology was produced) were situated on the southern side of the line of armies, for this base was located just below the room, and it would be easiest to reach from here. Not that it would be easy at all.
They could see the band of fighters in their arrow point formation heading towards Master Hand’s room, and beyond them distantly could spot some of the defenders ready to hold the line. A good number of these defenders, about half, were down here, of course, to hold back the southern hosts of Wire Frames as well.
But what Gadd’s lot (consisting of his hovercraft, the creatures of the Kongo Jungle, the Topis and Polar Bears, the Yoshis, Mumbo, and Humba) were required to do was not defensive in any way. For they would have to penetrate through Master Hand’s armies, and yet not by the V-arrangement strategy being implemented by the others, but by some other means. In addition to those listed, Dr. Mario had decided to go along with this division as well, and obviously the original Yoshi and the entire Kong family (minus Diddy Kong) were also notable among them. Dr. Mario traveled ahead of the rest below the hovercraft; the animals and Yoshis, being less orderly than humans or other civilized species, had nothing against intertwining with each other as they began to charge down the long slope towards the multitude of Wire Frames.
As was the case with the defenders, this charge seemed to go by in slow motion, climactically instilling fear but at the same time courage within the heart of each fighter, bringing to pass the realization that this was it, that after this nothing would ever be the same again whether the result was good or ill, and that this could be their last day of life to shine forth their bravery and strength of character and prove their timeless loyalty to righteousness and to everything they cherished rather than to the normal proceedings of everyday existence, or even to mortal life itself. The sensation of knowing they were doing the right thing and yet they might soon die for it was one of a kind.
So instead of bracing themselves, the assaulters, as they are to be called due to their goal of assaulting the base (and the defenders being the informal title of the those holding back the enemy), sped forward and propelled into the Wire Frames without intent of stopping until they had reached their goal. The hovercraft, high enough to be out of reach of the Wire Frames below, avoided the few Aparoids which diverted from their main body and attempted to attack it, and from which the professor was able to control his sturdy little E. Gadd robot that swept through the male/female Wire Frames underneath them with its miscellaneous weapons. Kazooie also successively fired fire, ice, and grenade eggs from her roost in Banjo’s backpack. Mumbo, meanwhile, shot bursts of magic at the few following Aparoids, and Humba steered the craft surprisingly well for an Indian. A number of the Yoshis encased themselves within spotted eggs and bulldozed into their opponents while the rest used their heads, tails, feet, and egg-throwing ability to plow through the mindless purple slaves. The prime green Yoshi, of course, the one who bore Baby Mario and appeared alone in all the other dozens of Mario family gatherings, and the one who was a member of the Original 25, was the most adept at each of these techniques, and led his herd with his unique gentle confidence. Polar Bears stomped on the ground, destabilizing many of the Wire Frames around them. They also used their bulky masses to simply push their way through or shove away their aggressors. The small Topis either followed the paths created by these sunglasses-wearing bears or kicked their Freezies at clusters of enemies which made it very hard to miss, freezing solid at least one of them with each hit, often two or more. Furthermore, the present Kong family led the many beasts of the jungle into battle with by far the widest variety of techniques (possibly excepting Mario’s partners from his paper adventures). Donkey Kong carried his Coconut Gun, firing many, many coconuts in spurts, headshots of course being the most effective. Tiny Kong brandished her Feather Crossbow, and took down a good number of Wire Frames as well, once in a while switching to her saxophone and blasting them away with waves of musical energy. Lanky Kong ran hand-standing the entire time, acrobatically leaping or dodging enemies, mowing down a line at a time with sudden bursts of speed, and kicking their faceless heads with his hand-like feet. Kiddy Kong was actually the only Kong who relied entirely on his own brute force, but with the size and weight of this mighty gorilla, he need not rely on anything else. Kiddy did, however, fight alongside his cousin Dixie, following her lead, and often teamed up with her and executed rolling and jumping maneuvers which confused and overwhelmed many adversaries. Cranky Kong, as unimaginable as it was, let loose his old-time karate moves, proving his boasting about his video game skills had not been only talk. Dixie Kong whipped around with her hair, occasionally jumping and spinning above the Wire Frames for a while when she was not in the mood to fight. Candy Kong was the only Kong who was not used to fighting; however, even though her charm was not enough to seduce such heartless foes, she proved to be so skilled in playing the flute on the move that her blasting waves of musical energy covered an area more than twice than that of Tiny’s or any other Kong’s. Funky Kong no longer had to pretend to be using his weapons, for now he was constantly triggering a hinged punching glove device with one hand while firing explosive oranges out of a bazooka over his left shoulder, sometimes switching the bazooka out for his innovative watermelon seed machine gun. The other various monkeys, like a bunch of Diddy Kongs, cart-wheeled, spun, and performed other acrobatics while pushing through the Wire Frames. Squawks the Parrot and his fellow birds pecked at random enemies from above or dropped rocks, coconuts, and large nuts. Expresso the Ostrich and his flock dashed through their foes with ease as if they were mere obstacles to avoid; the challenge inevitably turned into an unintentional race, as did the F-Zero trip so long ago which had resulted in Metal Captain Falcon’s demise. Squitter the Spider incapacitated as many Wire Frames as he could by covering them in thick layers of spider webs. Ellie the Elephant simply trudged over the human-sized clones or knocked them over with high-pressure jets of water from her trunk (when her supply of water was depleted, she resorted to saliva). Finally, King Krusha Rool led his masses of crocodiles of varying shapes and sizes into the engagement. The king himself roared with the cheering approval of his minions as he used his punching gloves to their full potential, and also took advantage of a substantial amount of orange grenades. The many variations of Kremlings followed after his enthusiasm, most of them applying some sort of combating fashion involving biting and clawing. The enormous orange-like creatures (from Donkey Kong 64) were especially effective by using their extremely bouncy stomachs to cause any and all Wire Frames in their way to rebound off of them into each other, clearing paths with ease.
In this manner the assaulters broke through the opposing ranks, clearing through them and constantly moving on. The weak Wire Frames put up a rather pathetic resistance with an occasional jab or kick, but were capable of doing little to delay or slow them. As with the defenders, Gadd and the others found progress easy and rapid as they covered area much quicker than expected--that is, until they reached the end of Master Hand’s remaining feeble Wire Frames separated only by gender, and penetrated into the enhanced and much more potent ones resembling each of the Original 25. This was the tougher meat, the bitterer layer of cake, the thick section of hard clay beneath the comparatively thin crust of dirt. Immediately, of course, their velocity slowed dramatically with the challenge of this arduous oppression. The assaulters kept on moving forward, but still it was more difficult for everyone. On the bright side, the complex metal base could be seen in the far distance, although there was no sign of Master Hand’s room behind it.
Along with the tougher Wire Frames, two notorious clones made their appearance together in a lethal combination.
Metal Yoshi (returning) and Metal Dr. Mario (which could be differentiated from Metal Mario by the doctor’s outfit). The latter was riding the former, almost reminiscent of old times.
Yoshi and Dr. Mario saw this dangerous pair, looked at each other, and nodded. They knew what fate had destined them to do. Dr. Mario jumped and landed on Yoshi’s back, and the two faced their metal nemeses on the run.
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The base grew gradually nearer, but casualties on the assaulters’ side were not few. Especially the right and left edges were vulnerable to spontaneous attacks from the Wire Frames.
Robo-Gadd, as the professor liked to call it, came into contact with a pair of Pikachu Frames at one point. Unfortunately, both of them sent Thunderbolts into the robot simultaneously, and the prototype warrior exploded into scraps. Now the professor, without his remote-controlled mimic to occupy him, made sure Humba was doing well in keeping the hovercraft was on course, and then pressed a big red button on the control panel. A hatch beneath the craft opened up, and hundreds of what appeared to be flashlights fell out of the hatch somewhat miraculously. This confounded the rest of the assaulters until the flashlights folded out of themselves into full-fledged Combat R.O.B.’s, which hovered and scooted over the ground, bombarding the Wire Frames with lasers from their eyes and missiles.
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gh.ffshrine.org/song/1365/11
The two ridden Yoshis ran side by side, firing projectiles (a.k.a. eggs and half-digested enemies) at each other. The Dr. Marios, meanwhile, each chucked megavitamins in the other’s general direction while ducking to avoid eggs. The metal eggs and megavitamins obviously would cause much more pain if they hit, but fortunately, one of the advantages Yoshi and Dr. Mario had with not being metal was that they were lighter and more agile, and were successfully able to avoid such attempts.
During all of this, they were moving along with the assaulters towards the base; the only difference in their intents was that Metal Dr. Mario and Yoshi clearly were trying to prevent their originators from reaching it, and were trying everything in their power to do so.
Yoshi held an especial grudge against Metal Yoshi for his failure against it during the tournament, and was fiercer and more determined than ever not to fail this time around. He jumped and fluttered to avoid various obstructions in his way, primarily Wire Frames. Dr. Mario also saw this as his chance to make a personal contribution to the Alliance in destroying his metal clone.
After a while, the base looming ever nearer, the Metals grew almost desperate, and resorted to merciless full-contact blows in an effort to at least dislodge the Italian doctor from his adorable steed. Yoshi took these hits, however, with more resilience than their adversaries deemed possible; Dr. Mario clung on to Yoshi’s back as if he did it for a living. Yoshi retaliated by first noticing a Jigglypuff Frame performing a Rollout attack at them, snaring it into his mouth effortlessly with his long sticky red tongue, and then spitting the still-spinning puffball at Metal Dr. Mario.
The purple ball, while not heavy, threw Metal Dr. Mario off balance as it smacked it in the head. And while such unsteadiness was occurring, Yoshi took advantage of this and threw Dr. Mario like an egg at them, ahead of their current position in order for the distances to even out by the time the human projectile reached its target.
“Yahoo!” the doctor cheered as he kicked sideways with both his feet, knocking Metal Dr. Mario off of Metal Yoshi altogether. The metal mustachioed figure fell back into the mass of Yoshis, monkeys, and other animals, and was presumably trampled to death (experts examining the remains later determined that it was an elephant which had completed the deed).
Back at the speeding combatants, Dr. Mario had, almost comically, landed upon the back of Metal Yoshi. Upon noticing this unwelcome rider, it bucked and jerked like a wild bull trying to throw him off. Yoshi, seeing this, did the only thing he knew would keep the doctor safe: he ate him. With the doctor in his mouth, however, Yoshi was unable to run with as much agility. He looked for a safe place to deposit the contents of his mouth, but before he could think clearly, Metal Yoshi was back at him, going for a headlong sideways ram. Yoshi instinctively spit Dr. Mario out straight upwards, and dodged his iron counterpart’s bash just in time.
Dr. Mario cried out as he soared up into the air, hundreds of creatures passing by below, and then he descended, unable to see where he would land. Luckily for him, an ostrich happened to be what he fell upon, and it provided both a soft landing and a means of keeping up with the group.
Yoshi and Metal Yoshi were now at it heavy-duty; Yoshi seemed to sense that this would be his last chance to prove himself, his last encounter to finally defeat his metal rival. But he had no ideas as to how to win; Metal Yoshi was stronger in every way except speed, which didn’t seem to be helping much at the moment. The only thing hard enough to vanquish it, Yoshi thought, is itself...
Itself…that’s it!
The green dinosaur waited for Metal Yoshi to toss another metal egg, and sure enough, a heavy metal sphere soon came flying his way. But this time Yoshi was ready. He jumped with a yelp of effort and caught the egg in both his arms like a football. Landing softly on his red boots, Yoshi then strenuously rushed forward ahead of Metal Yoshi, running directly in front of it, and heaved the metal egg with all his might behind him.
It was a success. Metal Yoshi took his own weapon full in the face, causing it to double over and tumble to the ground.
Yoshi rejoiced in his own cute way, but before he could turn forward again to see how close they were, Metal Yoshi pounced forward again in anger, high into the air, and executed a deadly Yoshi Bomb which was calculated to nail Yoshi’s noggin with lethal force from such a height. The maddened metal creature plummeted too quickly for Yoshi to react or stop; it was going to kill him…
Suddenly, to the rescue, a blue Arwing laser zapped Metal Yoshi into permanent inactivity, saving Yoshi from a gruesome end. But when Yoshi saw the craft responsible, he realized it wasn’t an Arwing at all; it was a Wolfen--the Black Rose, to be exact.
“Panther lends his assistance to all creatures in need,” Panther said proudly, speaking in 3rd person as always and doing a victorious barrel roll. Before Yoshi had a chance to give thanks, the cat and his ship had veered away, back into the battle with the Aparoids.
{2} The Spawning Plain
The base was nigh at hand as the surge persisted; one could see the wide, perfectly flat field occupied with the dozens of purple jelly-like pods. Every few seconds a newly born Wire Frame would step out of each the pods even now, during the battle of a lifetime. It sickened Gadd to witness the continual spawning of Master Hand’s ever-growing forces. He was even more angered, however, when they were close enough to see the small hovering machines with eyedropper-like protrusions nourishing the pods consistently with a fuming green potion. Reeka, the professor thought.
At the end of this plain, even more impressing, was the great and spacious laboratory which Gadd knew they would find here. It was constructed of a shiny black metal almost like obsidian, but no doubt extremely hard and solid, and at least as impenetrable as his own lab. Huge dark circular windows high on the structure seemed to look out across the Battlefields like many sinister, evil eyes. Massive billowing plumes of gray smoke swirled out of intimidating towers along the roof of the imposing building as if they were the remains of whatever innocent beauty had ever been taken inside those foreboding double doors placed like steel guards in the front.
But what was the most disconcerting about this entire view to the leader of the Alliance was not the field, nor even the laboratory. It was the fact that behind the lab, there was nothing save an ever-stretching purple plain, continuing endlessly into the distance. There was no sign of a shoreline, no figures upon this seemingly infinite stretch of land, and, most importantly, no suggestion of a giant room at all. Master Hand’s room could not be seen, although when Gadd thought about it, he had to admit to himself that he hadn’t known what to expect the outside of the room to look like; he had imagined towering walls stretching halfway to the sky in a gigantic square, and a giant door for the entrance like most other rooms had. But then again, Master Hand’s was not like most other rooms. There was nothing the professor could do at the moment other than hope Mario and the others would find a way inside the room. Which was when E. Gadd realized a serious mistake he had overlooked.
The tunnel leading from Fourside City to Master Hand’s room was only a small fraction of the actual distance between the two locations; that was just the way it was. Why, then, hadn’t he considered using this alternate route as a shortcut to the fortress? But Gadd answered his own question. He knew of a surety that Master Hand would either have barred the other end of the tunnel from intruders, or guarded it heavily so as to prevent such a close breach. He was just worried if it would be possible to force entrance to the room at this point from the Battlefields with no foreseeable door or means of entering.
But now back to the task at hand. Another downward slope and, of course, masses of Wire Frames occupying the space separated the assaulters from their destination. With the sight of the end of their journey, the Alliance plowed forward with renewed courage and enthusiasm, ready to end their part in this war as swiftly as possible. Almost all made up of animals, these were determined creatures letting loose their untamed instincts to run, and for some, these instincts included a desire to destroy all in their paths.
Interestingly, the first one to reach and obliterate one of the Wire Frame Pods was King K. Rool. As the king charged forth bellowing in his reptilian fury, at least a dozen of his Kremlings set up one of the giant orange-like minions on the ground not far in front of him. The crocodile, with another manic yell, leapt forward onto the round beast and with a push, bounced forward off of the resilient orange belly and launched himself onward high into the air over the rest of the Alliance and Wire Frames below him. The heavy king rolled forward in the air and crashed, as he had aimed, upon the foremost of the pods, belly-first. This body slam resonated through the ground in each direction, and the pod burst like a water bed, spilling purple goo across the similarly-colored surface around it.
This first aggressive blow urged the rest more speedily forward, and soon K. Rool was eagerly joined by the other creatures in the assault of the spawning plain. The mindless hovering robots tried to continue their work, but were destroyed primarily by Yoshi eggs. The newly born Wire Frames did not have time nor experience to react before they were mown down with the rest. The assault gradually spread across the plain, steadily eliminating the enemy’s sources of regeneration.
E. Gadd’s hovercraft, however, did not join in this work, for they had a further goal to first pursue. The craft sped towards the lab itself, the professor not feeling prepared to ever face his cousin again, even though he knew it must be done. Unhindered, the hovercraft landed near the steel double doors at the front of the building.
The professor climbed out, and Humba, Mumbo, and Banjo & Kazooie made to follow him, but Gadd cut their movement off with a raised hand.
“No. Banjo, you have been one of my most loyal followers. Mumbo and Humba, you have been a great asset to the Alliance. But I must do this alone. My nemesis will not accept any other opponents besides me and will kill them immediately without considering fair play in the least. If I do not succeed, then you must--“
Then a loud, screeching, grating sound came from the roof of the black laboratory, and the flapping of enormous wings could be heard. The shadow of a great winged shape began to cover over them. The professor wasted no more time with words, and used the high-intensity laser cutter on his watch to slice through the steel doors. Within a few seconds, a considerable gap had been made, and Gadd, with a nod, disappeared into the ominous structure, wondering what end awaited him.
Banjo & Kazooie had only a moment to contemplate their brave leader’s act before the giant flying thing took flight, evidently towards the assaulters. From above, it breathed in a wheezy, harsh way which seemed extremely familiar to them, but a name or image could not be immediately found within their racing minds. Banjo & Kazooie, deciding to leave the hovercraft for E. Gadd’s use when he returned (not if, they thought adamantly), took flight themselves via the breegull’s red wings, intent on warning the rest of the assaulters of the incoming terror, and possibly facing it.
“Bear and bird can handle big heap beast,” Humba reasoned as the two shamans watched them take flight. But then they turned around and looked up at the huge building. “But as for him…”
“…We follow orders,” Mumbo finished sternly.
“But there be great evil in black machine house!” the Indian woman said worriedly.
“There also be more than one way to follow orders,” the skull-headed magician replied cunningly.
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Back at the opposite end of the spawning plain, the assaulters continued to rush determinedly across the base, eliminating each of the domes and any Wire Frames which happened to be there. By now, well over half of the plain had been overrun, and they were not too far away from the huge black laboratory when Banjo & Kazooie came flying frantically into view, the great dark shadow advancing through the skies far behind them.
“Watch out!” Kazooie cried out as loud and far as the poultry’s voice could carry. “Look to the skies!”
From their current perspective, this great thing slowly drawing nearer aloft, it appeared by shape to be a sort of extremely fat dragon with a large head not unlike that of a Yoshi, giant wings, although these, fluttering rapidly and thin and rounded, were more similar to the wings of a dragonfly. Its large belly protruded from beneath, causing one to wonder how such a massive creature could be kept in the air with such weak wings. But finally, when it drew close enough, everyone could see the finer details of their opponent, and this question was answered in the strangest of ways.
The flying thing was not massive at all; in fact, it probably had less mass than King K. Rool despite the fact that it was twenty times his size. Indeed, this being was so light that it was no wonder the dragonfly wings, which in fact they were, were able to bear it in the air. For there could be no mistake: the bulk of this enemy was none other than Mr. Patch, one of Banjo’s old adversaries capable of inflating himself to enormous sizes, as was demonstrated in this instance. The Yoshi-like head was green with several square white teeth sticking out the top, covered in several colored patches (hence the name), and consisted of two nose slits and two large, untameable eyes. Mr. Patch’s voluminous body was also covered with checkered, colored, and otherwise designed patches, and the areas which were still green had a certain rubbery sheen. However, in addition to the dragonfly wings, Mr. Patch had somehow picked up instead of arms and legs dark red claws and feet with sharp, lethal tips, and the spine along his back was the same red color.
Banjo & Kazooie halted mid-flight, gaping in bewilderment and horror at the bizarre reincarnation of one of their former enemies. Mr. Patch had always been strange and wobbly in his prime, but neither could imagine, for a while, how he had managed to become this…thing.
Below, Donkey Kong and his companions recognized the source of Mr. Patch’s obscure features: from the days of old when DK Isle had been threatened with destruction, the monkeys distinctly recalled a particular giant Dragonfly which had caused them much grief, and also had the same dark red color. And both they and Banjo finally understood what was going on here. Just like the Shadow Hand, just like Piranha Gohma, here was yet another corrupt, hideous biological combination of two completely different beings, courtesy of this insane evil scientist E. Gadd had talked about--Professor U. Reeka.
Mr. Patch gave a long, wheezy laugh. “Ha, ha, ha! We meet again, bear and bird! Yes, you temporarily punctured my body and disallowed me from striding the earth, but luckily, an ingenious professor found my rubber remains inside the circus tent, and after a series of patching and experimenting, finally merged me with a ferocious Dragonfly into this new, invincible me! Prepare to meet the wrath of Mr. Dragon Patch!”
“Uh-oh,” Banjo said. “It looks like we’re going to have to fight you again.”
“Mr. Dragon Patch? You’ve GOT to be KIDDING me!” Kazooie twittered in annoyance, rolling her eyes and suppressing ecstatic laughter.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Character Locations
NORTHERN BATTLEFIELDS:
Armies: Pokemon, Bowser's Army, Dedede's Army (fled), Mushroom Kingdom, Beanbean Kingdom, Host of Hyrule (minus Hylian Soldiers), Delfinians, Waffle Kingdom, Shy Guys
Heroes: Bowser, Young Link, Ganondorf, Goombario, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Mr. Game & Watch, Prince Peasley, Toad, Lance, Wes, Gary
Villains: (known) King Boo
SOUTHERN BATTLEFIELDS:
Armies: Kongo Jungle, K. Rool's Army, Icicle Mountains, Yoshis, Jinjos
Heroes: Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Lanky Kong, Tiny Kong, Dixie Kong, Professor E. Gadd, Banjo & Kazooie, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, Dr. Mario
Villains: (known) Mr. Dragon Patch
CENTER FORMATION:
Armies: Fire Emblem, Star Warriors, Hylian Soldiers
Heroes:Kirby, Bomberman, Link, Marth, Ness, Pac-man, Mario, Baby Mario, Luigi, Baby Luigi, Ice Climbers, Roy, Fox, Falco, Slippy, Peppy, Shadow the Hedgehog
Villains: (known)
MISCELLANEOUS/VARYING:
Armies: Cornerian Fleet, Bounty Hunters, Timber's Island, The Great Sea
Heroes: Pit, Wolf, Leon, Panther, Shadow Sirens, Diddy Kong, Rito Postman
[glow=yellow,2,300]Trophy:[/glow] Pikachu, Princess Peach, Samus, Chunky Kong, Sonic, Wario, Waluigi, Captain Falcon[glow=purple,2,300]Captive:[/glow] Goombella, Toadette, Princess Zelda
[glow=gray,2,300]DECEASED:[/glow] The Shadow Hand, Bottles, Orca, 49 Hammer Bro Soldiers, Pigma, Nascour, Darunia
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