Post by Nynx on Feb 14, 2010 14:25:12 GMT -5
Since this is the worst day of my year for me, I think I'll let out all of these things I've been thinking about. Fredo said I need to stop thinking so much, so perhaps this will help. Sour always says "honesty is the best policy" so why not tell my inner thoughts or feelings? It couldn't do any harm right? At least thats what I'm trying to believe... >.> Let me start with some of the more "bigger" people..
Angel: I think I understood what happened now.. A long time ago, I thought of you as an annoyance. The type of person that hogged all the attention while I wanted to get some for myself. You were an obstacle in my way. However when I started talking to you more, you didn't seem as annoying, maybe even a little fun. Also around the same time I began developing feelings for you. This right here was the climax point for me, this fucking point. See whenever I develop feelings for someone, that person becomes my focus. I want to do everything I can to make that person happy or protect them but these particular feeling were false. I was suffering from "Loli Hypnosis". If you want to learn about it a little bit, take a look at your RP char. That type of person that acts so innocent and cute that the person feels horrible for hurting that person. I'll touch base on that in another thread but for now let me stick to the topic.
90% of the issues I had on the site was Angel-based. If I wasn't so involved with you, I probably would have had an easier time in staff. You know has well as I did, I rarely argued with any staff members other than you. Then everyone got on my case because I hurt little ol Angel. I was already so emotional attached to you. So I felt as though I had to change myself into a person that couldn't hurt you. However the more I tried to change myself, the worst things got. Also you weren't clear about a few things, so I sort hate you for that. My heart is naturally clingy and quite naive when it comes to making decisions. Thats why I don't allow myself to fall in love so easily.... Tch... That was a year of pure hell. I regret it.. You may not regret it but you're not me. Your not the one that discovered that all of your feelings and hopes were a lie. This is why I unleashed a torrent of flames that one night. You may have been burned but I finally snapped out of it. Now I'm trying to return to my former self, the one that used to smile and have fun. Currently idk how to feel around you... Every time I'm around you it brings up so many emotions. Its very irritating but its fine. I can ignore them until I'm myself again. I'll most likely feel the same way I did about you before. Meaning.. seeing you as the annoying little bitch you've always been. However I've grown to understand you a bit more, so it won't be as bad. You're like a little sis to be now and thats the way I'll keep it.
Gray: I would like to say I'm sorry. When I spoke with you on msn about being friends and such, I meant it but I wasn't ready for it. I forced myself to speak to you because I didn't want to hurt Angel. I really wasn't emotionally ready. I would like to try again one day when I have my emotions in check again. You're a cool dude man and again sorry I acted the way I did. However I will still be slightly avoiding you and Angel on the c-box. Feelings aside both of you on the c-box is freaking irritating. The loli is irritating enough but I developed a mental block for her bullshit. You on the other hand are another story. Flirty guys piss me off honestly. Do you really have to state that Angel is your GF all the freaking time? Well not all the time but most of the time. Its annoying... You make her sound like a trophy that you won. There is a difference between expressing your love for someone and just treating them like a prize. Its annoying and save the flirty shit for msn man. You flirt more than Key does with Kune and thats pretty bad. You also come off as a kiss ass to most people. I'm not going to go into detail why but I'm just letting you know. But ya.... sorry for all thats happened. Also you are also showing signs of Loli Hypnosis.
Devaux: ~deep breath~ Alright man what's it gonna be? We gonna talk things over or settle it in mortal kombat? This little secret hate or dislike has gone on long enough. I know you have negative feelings toward me and I can express the same amount. I would like to settles these difference between us man. Every time I'm in one of my "moods" You always seem to lash out at me out of no where. Not only me either, you do this to a few people you don't like. So instead of ignoring you like people have told me to do, I want to come to an understanding. You have my AIM. Lets talk things over so we may become friends man. I don't like this hostility.
KuneKune: I can honestly say I have some love/hate feelings toward you. I just want to cover my body with sharp needles and give a big hug. There are times when you are really epic but then there are times when you're a heartless bitch. I'm not saying you should change but have a heart woman. You can be a little nicer. My words probably don't matter to you but I feel like I need to say them. Also do you know how masculine you are? You come off as a dude sometimes Not that it matters to me though. Masculine makes you into a tomboy and well ~drools~.. Thats all I really wanted to say to you. Just be a little nicer and maybe a little more feminine. Oh and also.. THE PEOPLE OF HAITI DESERVE LOVE TOO!!!!!
Ghost: It's time to let everyone know this now and since it's V-day I'm going to regret it but who gives a shit. Might as well say it on a day that wont get any worse. Ghost is my husband. One night while we were making sweet, passionate love, he was working me so hard that he fell of the bed and hit his head. I called 911 and we rushed him to the hospital. I was wearing nothing but a pair of panties and a robe. After 5 hours the doctors finally told me that he developed amnesia. He didn't remember who I was or how he got there. After a while he simply forgot about me and married another girl. Years later I find him on this site, rekindling my lost feelings. Now I seek to pick up from where we left off ~wishful thinking I know~. In all honesty though, I'm crushing on Ghost. He is a very sweet guy and he's very wise. He is also the only person I know thats been able to completely stop my anger, not just slowly calm be down but utterly stop it. Its really quite amazing.. I think I've been crushing on him for a while but more dominating feeling were in me at the time, not to mention the Loli hypnosis. He gives me butterflies every time I talk to him now.. Do I have romantic feelings toward him? Maybe...... The reason I can't really state why is because I don't know. I know they're close to that point but I haven't exactly hit it. I know he doesn't see me in that sort of way and I know he'll probably wtf after reading this but I needed to be honest for once.
Hmm.... This is all I can say for now. I have more to say but I can't put it into words quite yet. I'll edit my post when I'm ready to. Till then, I'm going to hide and regret I ever posted this.. >.>
Angel: I think I understood what happened now.. A long time ago, I thought of you as an annoyance. The type of person that hogged all the attention while I wanted to get some for myself. You were an obstacle in my way. However when I started talking to you more, you didn't seem as annoying, maybe even a little fun. Also around the same time I began developing feelings for you. This right here was the climax point for me, this fucking point. See whenever I develop feelings for someone, that person becomes my focus. I want to do everything I can to make that person happy or protect them but these particular feeling were false. I was suffering from "Loli Hypnosis". If you want to learn about it a little bit, take a look at your RP char. That type of person that acts so innocent and cute that the person feels horrible for hurting that person. I'll touch base on that in another thread but for now let me stick to the topic.
90% of the issues I had on the site was Angel-based. If I wasn't so involved with you, I probably would have had an easier time in staff. You know has well as I did, I rarely argued with any staff members other than you. Then everyone got on my case because I hurt little ol Angel. I was already so emotional attached to you. So I felt as though I had to change myself into a person that couldn't hurt you. However the more I tried to change myself, the worst things got. Also you weren't clear about a few things, so I sort hate you for that. My heart is naturally clingy and quite naive when it comes to making decisions. Thats why I don't allow myself to fall in love so easily.... Tch... That was a year of pure hell. I regret it.. You may not regret it but you're not me. Your not the one that discovered that all of your feelings and hopes were a lie. This is why I unleashed a torrent of flames that one night. You may have been burned but I finally snapped out of it. Now I'm trying to return to my former self, the one that used to smile and have fun. Currently idk how to feel around you... Every time I'm around you it brings up so many emotions. Its very irritating but its fine. I can ignore them until I'm myself again. I'll most likely feel the same way I did about you before. Meaning.. seeing you as the annoying little bitch you've always been. However I've grown to understand you a bit more, so it won't be as bad. You're like a little sis to be now and thats the way I'll keep it.
Gray: I would like to say I'm sorry. When I spoke with you on msn about being friends and such, I meant it but I wasn't ready for it. I forced myself to speak to you because I didn't want to hurt Angel. I really wasn't emotionally ready. I would like to try again one day when I have my emotions in check again. You're a cool dude man and again sorry I acted the way I did. However I will still be slightly avoiding you and Angel on the c-box. Feelings aside both of you on the c-box is freaking irritating. The loli is irritating enough but I developed a mental block for her bullshit. You on the other hand are another story. Flirty guys piss me off honestly. Do you really have to state that Angel is your GF all the freaking time? Well not all the time but most of the time. Its annoying... You make her sound like a trophy that you won. There is a difference between expressing your love for someone and just treating them like a prize. Its annoying and save the flirty shit for msn man. You flirt more than Key does with Kune and thats pretty bad. You also come off as a kiss ass to most people. I'm not going to go into detail why but I'm just letting you know. But ya.... sorry for all thats happened. Also you are also showing signs of Loli Hypnosis.
Devaux: ~deep breath~ Alright man what's it gonna be? We gonna talk things over or settle it in mortal kombat? This little secret hate or dislike has gone on long enough. I know you have negative feelings toward me and I can express the same amount. I would like to settles these difference between us man. Every time I'm in one of my "moods" You always seem to lash out at me out of no where. Not only me either, you do this to a few people you don't like. So instead of ignoring you like people have told me to do, I want to come to an understanding. You have my AIM. Lets talk things over so we may become friends man. I don't like this hostility.
KuneKune: I can honestly say I have some love/hate feelings toward you. I just want to cover my body with sharp needles and give a big hug. There are times when you are really epic but then there are times when you're a heartless bitch. I'm not saying you should change but have a heart woman. You can be a little nicer. My words probably don't matter to you but I feel like I need to say them. Also do you know how masculine you are? You come off as a dude sometimes Not that it matters to me though. Masculine makes you into a tomboy and well ~drools~.. Thats all I really wanted to say to you. Just be a little nicer and maybe a little more feminine. Oh and also.. THE PEOPLE OF HAITI DESERVE LOVE TOO!!!!!
Ghost: It's time to let everyone know this now and since it's V-day I'm going to regret it but who gives a shit. Might as well say it on a day that wont get any worse. Ghost is my husband. One night while we were making sweet, passionate love, he was working me so hard that he fell of the bed and hit his head. I called 911 and we rushed him to the hospital. I was wearing nothing but a pair of panties and a robe. After 5 hours the doctors finally told me that he developed amnesia. He didn't remember who I was or how he got there. After a while he simply forgot about me and married another girl. Years later I find him on this site, rekindling my lost feelings. Now I seek to pick up from where we left off ~wishful thinking I know~. In all honesty though, I'm crushing on Ghost. He is a very sweet guy and he's very wise. He is also the only person I know thats been able to completely stop my anger, not just slowly calm be down but utterly stop it. Its really quite amazing.. I think I've been crushing on him for a while but more dominating feeling were in me at the time, not to mention the Loli hypnosis. He gives me butterflies every time I talk to him now.. Do I have romantic feelings toward him? Maybe...... The reason I can't really state why is because I don't know. I know they're close to that point but I haven't exactly hit it. I know he doesn't see me in that sort of way and I know he'll probably wtf after reading this but I needed to be honest for once.
Hmm.... This is all I can say for now. I have more to say but I can't put it into words quite yet. I'll edit my post when I'm ready to. Till then, I'm going to hide and regret I ever posted this.. >.>
