Post by Serras-Kai on Dec 15, 2009 1:40:26 GMT -5
*WARNING*
Yes, there are spoilers. I try to avoid them whenever possible but at times when I'm really getting on something I feel like I have to say it. I don't want to put spoiler boxes in this review because then it'd be pointless, I may as well put all of it in a spoiler box. But why do that when I can put a disclaimer at the top?
So the Wachadjalsg;jksa brothers have coughed up another film with the hopes of making money in true Wachadjalsg;jksa style, so before I actually review this I'm just going to go down a quick check list.
1. Main character as well as villain that wear all black.
-Check
2. Fancy fight scenes that slow randomly.
-check
3. Some stupid lady I care nothing about
-check
4. A god awful story
-check
5. A main character who is the best just because he is.
-check
6. A main character who is portrayed as heartless but is ultimately presented as justified.
-check.
Yup, this is a Wachowski brothers flick.
Ninja assassin begins as one would expect it to, with a silent Ninja protagonist who kills people we are left to assume are bad for no real reason, as well as one dude who may or may not have been bad with the most bullshit immunity to an attack ever who may or may not have been bad. So far, so standard.
Then the entire movie takes a left turn and begins to cycle between three set points in time, following them almost om a formulaic way.
The first of the three parts of the cycle is a pair of... investigators of some kind. Actually it's not really clear on that, but anyway the two of them are slowly uncovering the fact that there is, in fact, still a secret society of Ninjas who do indeed kill people. Wait... that sounds almost interesting. A film noir with Ninjas? Hell, I'd watch that.
The second part of the cycle is the Ninja assassin himself, portrayed completely wrong in all of the commercials, training. Not much happens.
The third part is that same Ninja's flash backs to his original training back when he was a child. Now this is the main part of the beginning that sold me on it- I have no idea if Ninjas really trained this way, but during the Super Wachowski Bros. did a very good job of making it seem alien to the viewers without it seeming completely over the top. The training seems like it would legitimately teach somebody who endured it how to sneak around silently, hide whenever necessary, and seriously F**k somebody up if they needed to. However, all of this is broken up by what seems (to me) to be a pointless love story and that sort of thing.
When the movie enters its second half it is revealed that the betrayal depicted in the commercials actually took place some time before the movie, and El Ninja has been screwing things up for his old buddies every chance he got. Once again, that wasn't what I was expecting. It's not exactly something fresh or original, but it at least more than met my expectations. Another thing I enjoyed about the movie was the character's main weapon, which for most of the fights is in fact not a sword, but a long chain with a knife on the end, allowing him to rage all over his opponents God of War style in slow motion. But the main things about the fights that I enjoyed was the character himself- unlike most action movies, where the character takes one hit here, one hit there, Mr. Ninja actually takes a serious beating, and I kid you not, takes a mortal wound in nearly every fight of the film (his life is saved simply because he is indeed a Ninja.) This means that the over-the-top blood and gore apply to the main character too, as he gets just as effed up as many of the enemies.
However, this is where my praise ends.
While the fights are over the top and dramatic, the main character before leaving his clan is "just another guy in pajamas" and is at no point described as being better than any other Ninja of his clan and even is even shown failing several of his tests where others succeeded. However, once he leaves, suddenly he is the greatest damn Ninja that ever channeled the spirit of Bruce Lee. And why? No real reason is given.
Another notable annoyance is the main character's motivation- his love interest is killed right in front of him (no really- they tear her heart out and stuff) so it's not like he's fighting to find her. Now, he is supposed to be fighting for her memory, but really, she died as a teenager, and he's now an adult (she was actually a bit older than him) and he's only just now getting around to vengeance? I don't buy it.
The characters, while likable to a certain degree, often come across as being bullshit and annoying, especially during the more fast-paced action scenes, which follow a formula not unlike the beginning of the movie; "Mr. Ninja kills a Ninja, he runs up/across something, kills another Ninja, takes a hit, cut to an unrelated character who is doing nothing of any interest or has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with the fight, focus on their relatively minor problem for about a minute, then back to the fight." I know a minute doesn't seem like much, but it's more than enough time for a buzz kill.
All in all, Ninja Assassin was actually more than I expected it to be. I went into the theater expecting a total crap fest filled with needless violence, pointless gore, and probably a sex scene somewhere (I didn't actually look at what content WAS in the movie) but was pleasantly surprised by often uncompromisable but never downright awful combat, a bit of unnecessary gore (which looked fake enough to laugh at, even) and no worthless throwaway sex scene to bog down the whole thing. In fact, after the death of the initial love interest, the main Ninja never finds another.
However, don't go to this expecting some sort of story to be told. It starts out kinda cool with the investigators, but when the both of them are thrust into the world of the Ninja fairly early, it sort of breaks up the whole thing pretty quick and the outer crust of the story (which was hidden by a shell of ridiculous advertising) falls away to reveal just another action flick. With Ninjas.
Yes, there are spoilers. I try to avoid them whenever possible but at times when I'm really getting on something I feel like I have to say it. I don't want to put spoiler boxes in this review because then it'd be pointless, I may as well put all of it in a spoiler box. But why do that when I can put a disclaimer at the top?
So the Wachadjalsg;jksa brothers have coughed up another film with the hopes of making money in true Wachadjalsg;jksa style, so before I actually review this I'm just going to go down a quick check list.
1. Main character as well as villain that wear all black.
-Check
2. Fancy fight scenes that slow randomly.
-check
3. Some stupid lady I care nothing about
-check
4. A god awful story
-check
5. A main character who is the best just because he is.
-check
6. A main character who is portrayed as heartless but is ultimately presented as justified.
-check.
Yup, this is a Wachowski brothers flick.
Ninja assassin begins as one would expect it to, with a silent Ninja protagonist who kills people we are left to assume are bad for no real reason, as well as one dude who may or may not have been bad with the most bullshit immunity to an attack ever who may or may not have been bad. So far, so standard.
Then the entire movie takes a left turn and begins to cycle between three set points in time, following them almost om a formulaic way.
The first of the three parts of the cycle is a pair of... investigators of some kind. Actually it's not really clear on that, but anyway the two of them are slowly uncovering the fact that there is, in fact, still a secret society of Ninjas who do indeed kill people. Wait... that sounds almost interesting. A film noir with Ninjas? Hell, I'd watch that.
The second part of the cycle is the Ninja assassin himself, portrayed completely wrong in all of the commercials, training. Not much happens.
The third part is that same Ninja's flash backs to his original training back when he was a child. Now this is the main part of the beginning that sold me on it- I have no idea if Ninjas really trained this way, but during the Super Wachowski Bros. did a very good job of making it seem alien to the viewers without it seeming completely over the top. The training seems like it would legitimately teach somebody who endured it how to sneak around silently, hide whenever necessary, and seriously F**k somebody up if they needed to. However, all of this is broken up by what seems (to me) to be a pointless love story and that sort of thing.
When the movie enters its second half it is revealed that the betrayal depicted in the commercials actually took place some time before the movie, and El Ninja has been screwing things up for his old buddies every chance he got. Once again, that wasn't what I was expecting. It's not exactly something fresh or original, but it at least more than met my expectations. Another thing I enjoyed about the movie was the character's main weapon, which for most of the fights is in fact not a sword, but a long chain with a knife on the end, allowing him to rage all over his opponents God of War style in slow motion. But the main things about the fights that I enjoyed was the character himself- unlike most action movies, where the character takes one hit here, one hit there, Mr. Ninja actually takes a serious beating, and I kid you not, takes a mortal wound in nearly every fight of the film (his life is saved simply because he is indeed a Ninja.) This means that the over-the-top blood and gore apply to the main character too, as he gets just as effed up as many of the enemies.
However, this is where my praise ends.
While the fights are over the top and dramatic, the main character before leaving his clan is "just another guy in pajamas" and is at no point described as being better than any other Ninja of his clan and even is even shown failing several of his tests where others succeeded. However, once he leaves, suddenly he is the greatest damn Ninja that ever channeled the spirit of Bruce Lee. And why? No real reason is given.
Another notable annoyance is the main character's motivation- his love interest is killed right in front of him (no really- they tear her heart out and stuff) so it's not like he's fighting to find her. Now, he is supposed to be fighting for her memory, but really, she died as a teenager, and he's now an adult (she was actually a bit older than him) and he's only just now getting around to vengeance? I don't buy it.
The characters, while likable to a certain degree, often come across as being bullshit and annoying, especially during the more fast-paced action scenes, which follow a formula not unlike the beginning of the movie; "Mr. Ninja kills a Ninja, he runs up/across something, kills another Ninja, takes a hit, cut to an unrelated character who is doing nothing of any interest or has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with the fight, focus on their relatively minor problem for about a minute, then back to the fight." I know a minute doesn't seem like much, but it's more than enough time for a buzz kill.
All in all, Ninja Assassin was actually more than I expected it to be. I went into the theater expecting a total crap fest filled with needless violence, pointless gore, and probably a sex scene somewhere (I didn't actually look at what content WAS in the movie) but was pleasantly surprised by often uncompromisable but never downright awful combat, a bit of unnecessary gore (which looked fake enough to laugh at, even) and no worthless throwaway sex scene to bog down the whole thing. In fact, after the death of the initial love interest, the main Ninja never finds another.
However, don't go to this expecting some sort of story to be told. It starts out kinda cool with the investigators, but when the both of them are thrust into the world of the Ninja fairly early, it sort of breaks up the whole thing pretty quick and the outer crust of the story (which was hidden by a shell of ridiculous advertising) falls away to reveal just another action flick. With Ninjas.
