Post by Angel on Oct 12, 2009 21:54:25 GMT -5
Well, I was pretty close to a year on my Nsider2... not the real Nsider2 of course.. this was my second.. home. The internet is a place for me that's always been a home first.. something alot of people can't really understand. I have trouble letting people in as much as I let them in sometimes.. and being in this sort of environment helps.
I loved this place when I first joined.. I really did. It felt really right, it felt like a warm happy community and people just liked me. I was at a place where I was happy with who I am. Most every member who I later ended up having a fight with contested that I was a just a fluffy, active, sweet member that everyone was happy to see online. If the forum could have just remained that forever.. I think that could have been the best thing for me.
I love the people here so much it hurts. I love the people here so much that I'm going to be thinking and lurking around this place for weeks, just wishing things could have been different. But I have to leave.. I need to try my hardest to close something that is just getting increasingly more painful for me to do.. I mean.. I've gone through highs and lows with many members.. but lately.. every, single day I wonder why I'm sitting here wasting my life on a place that's making me an emotional wreck. The drama of it all just intoxicating to the mind and heart, and I just can't take it anymore. Everyday I tell my friends over and over that I wish that I could just go back to before I told everyone everything about me.. back before everyone had so much horrible history with me and back before I told people things that constantly ram around in my head like a angry wasp of hornets. It hurts me in every way possible that I have to keep fighting.. I'm not a fighter. I never claimed to be.. but I tried my very hardest.
This was just.. enough.
Add me at princessoftheclow@hotmail.com if you haven't already/
Some final words to people that I care about:
Star; Your unblocked on my MSN. In the end, you just made me realize I couldn't be here anymore. You made me sad.. because, before the fight I was about to go to you, calling you the names I told you last night. I woke up wanting you.. and then I felt.. like I was living my sister's "walking away' all over again. I can't be abandoned.. but I know you don't want to either. I hope to see you online on MSN soon.
Ghost and Dobs; I'll see you on MSN.. but I'm sorry for quitting on you guys. Probably pretty upset.
Sour; Your a good person too. I guess our history just made things hard.
Serras-Kai; I'll still write up that proposal for you for RP Staff, just send it for me okay?
Steele; You ruined the RP for me. But was I'm writing this I don't want to leave on such a bad note. I know your trying hard to do what you feel is right. Just.. don't forget to listen to everyone.
LGN; I feel like you deserve an apology too. I guess you know what for.. But I love you..
Meh.. if I write down detailed messages for everyone, I'll never leave. Bai guys.
I loved this place when I first joined.. I really did. It felt really right, it felt like a warm happy community and people just liked me. I was at a place where I was happy with who I am. Most every member who I later ended up having a fight with contested that I was a just a fluffy, active, sweet member that everyone was happy to see online. If the forum could have just remained that forever.. I think that could have been the best thing for me.
I love the people here so much it hurts. I love the people here so much that I'm going to be thinking and lurking around this place for weeks, just wishing things could have been different. But I have to leave.. I need to try my hardest to close something that is just getting increasingly more painful for me to do.. I mean.. I've gone through highs and lows with many members.. but lately.. every, single day I wonder why I'm sitting here wasting my life on a place that's making me an emotional wreck. The drama of it all just intoxicating to the mind and heart, and I just can't take it anymore. Everyday I tell my friends over and over that I wish that I could just go back to before I told everyone everything about me.. back before everyone had so much horrible history with me and back before I told people things that constantly ram around in my head like a angry wasp of hornets. It hurts me in every way possible that I have to keep fighting.. I'm not a fighter. I never claimed to be.. but I tried my very hardest.
This was just.. enough.
Add me at princessoftheclow@hotmail.com if you haven't already/
Some final words to people that I care about:
Star; Your unblocked on my MSN. In the end, you just made me realize I couldn't be here anymore. You made me sad.. because, before the fight I was about to go to you, calling you the names I told you last night. I woke up wanting you.. and then I felt.. like I was living my sister's "walking away' all over again. I can't be abandoned.. but I know you don't want to either. I hope to see you online on MSN soon.
Ghost and Dobs; I'll see you on MSN.. but I'm sorry for quitting on you guys. Probably pretty upset.
Sour; Your a good person too. I guess our history just made things hard.
Serras-Kai; I'll still write up that proposal for you for RP Staff, just send it for me okay?
Steele; You ruined the RP for me. But was I'm writing this I don't want to leave on such a bad note. I know your trying hard to do what you feel is right. Just.. don't forget to listen to everyone.
LGN; I feel like you deserve an apology too. I guess you know what for.. But I love you..
Meh.. if I write down detailed messages for everyone, I'll never leave. Bai guys.
[M:-1320]
Angel, you are a beautiful person, and the forum will not be the same without you. You are part of the reason that I came back to this forum wherever I could, and I will miss you dearly.
