Post by Stifmeister is Diego Armando on Aug 11, 2009 16:01:04 GMT -5
The crowd in Venice was of the most splitting volume, there was clapping, singing, shouting and taking in large quantities of alcohol. They were beginning to shout "MORE POSTYS! MORE POSTYS! MORE POSTYS!" and began what could be a potential riot.
Stifmeister walked out from the corner of the stage wearing the stereotypical outfit of a white Tee and blue jeans, only slightly modified by the Slytherin House necklace around his neck.
Stif: Hey folks, lemme tell ya, we got a great remainder of the show coming up, right now I'm gonna show ya the POSTY entertainment winners, along with a little help from a couple of surprise guests, and of course, after that, we've got LGN giving out the other awards you haven't heard yet. And I just wanna remind everyone that, of course, a lot of you who missed the official award ceremonies and are reading it late, please don't just skip to the awards, people spend a lot of time on this stuff, so try to read the actual writing. Now, without further ado, I present to you, THE POSTY ENTERTAINMENT AWARD SHOW!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8vINCq_IAI
The circus music played, and several fantastic fireworks went up into the air, most of the sparks sent off by them in the sky were shaped perfectly in the image of Evanna Lynch's face with the word "Luna" beside the image.
But some were shaped as iPods or Iron Man, this lasted for about two minutes, until the music abruptly stopped.
Stif:Yeah, sorry about that, we couldn't find Circus music that didn't cut off. We'd like to take this time to recognize our sponsors The Evening Show with Solid! That is our only sponsor ladies and gentlemen! So signore, signori, let's get started on these awards!
The crowd sent out a roar of approval.
Stif: Now, usually, we'd do the favorite song here, but we're doing something a little special tonight, so we're saving that for later, so now we'll just skip to the WORST
SONG
EVER!!!!
The crowd was confused, unsure to cheer or jeer.
Stif: Anyway, to present this 'award' we have last year's winner RICK ASTLEY!
Rick: WOO! Well, you know, winning this award it's not really a good thing, but you know, kinda depressing, anyhow, our nominations are Apologize, by OneRepublic, I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry
and Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley- Hey! How is that fair that I can win it one year and be nominated again?! That's not fair, it's not that bad a song!
Ugh, anyway, the winner is, Barbie Girl... Oh my Go- I didn't get it! I didn't get it! WOO!!! Haha! YES!
*moonwalks and does MJ kicks, then does a High School Musical jump in the air out of happiness*
Worst Song Ever: Barbie Girl, by Aqua.
In his happiness, Rick Astley stripped all his clothes off and ran off stage, only to be tackled and escorted out by Mewtwo, the security guard.
Stif: Well, that was unfortunate, and mostly, my fault, so I'll welcome my fellow POSTYS staff members to the stage to help me out now!
*LGN, KoD, and Steele Enter*
LGN: Hey everybody! Before we start the next award, IT'S PICKLE TIME!
*millions of pickles drop from the sky, several audience members die*
Stif: *Protects Slytherin necklace* Good Lord.
Steele: Anyway, next up is the Fabulous Anime Hero/Heroine/Protagonist/Main Character, this is a big one because we have such big anime fans on the forum!
KoD: Everyone knows that, anyway, here are our nominations: Goku, from the Dragonball series, L from Death Note, and Ichigo Kurosaki, from Bleach.
Stif: And the winner is........
All: GOKU!!
Fabulous Anime Hero/Heroine/Protagonist/Main Character: Goku
Suddenly, an extremely loud shout was heard around Venice, and then a huge energy blast destroyed a quarter of the stage, Goku flew in and snatched the Golden Mushroom.
Goku: Thanks for the award everyone!
KoD: Oh my Pork!
Stif: Why are all our guests insane?!
LGN and Steele: It's POSTYS!
Another pickle fell on Stif's face.
Stif: I imagine I'll get used to it
LGN: *Slaps Stif in the face with a mongoose* Nope!
KoD: *Apparently has found a Pachirisu*
Steele: Is that a Pachirisu?
KoD: Yep, it's my favorite Pokemon.
Stif: But I thought that Pachirisu was SLE's favorite Pokemon.
KoD: *Ignores*
Stif: Anyway, next up is the best Anime Villain, LGN, would you like to present this award?
LGN walked on his hands over to the mic, which was hovering upside down to reach his mouth.
LGN: The nominations are, Cell from Dragonball Z, Sosuke Aizen from Bleach, Legato from Trigun, Britannian King from Code Geass and Majin Buu, also from Dragonball Z.
And the winner is...... CELL!!!!
Cell flies it, prepares to destroy the stage, but notices it is already ravaged.
Cell: It's quite a victory to win this award, but... I was gonna destroy this....
KoD: Sorry, Goku beat you to it
Cell: GOKUUUU!!!! But, um... what should I do now?
Stif: Well, I guess you could-
LGN: DO SQUATS!!!
Cell: *Does eleven and one half squats* Well, thank you for the award. *Flies off*
Best Anime Villain: Cell, from Dragonball Z
Steele: Well, that was out of character of him wasn't it?
(Forum)Cell: YES IT WAS!!
Stif: Where'd that come from?
KoD: MAVERICKS!
Stif: Um....
Steele: You both fail, it's obviously those aliens.
Steele pointed up at the sky, there was a large floating watermelon above the stage. A hole opened up in the hole and out of it floated eight human sized french fries sporting large purple turbans and capes.
Alien French Fry Leader: OMG WE LEIK SAW DA POSTAZ FROM ARE SHIPP AND TAUGHT WED CUMM DOWWN AN WATZ
Stif: Why do these guys seem familiar?
Alien French Fry First Mate: Omg! You're so stupid, you don't know crap! The Harry Potter series is cliche! YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!
LGN: Even I'm tripped out by this.
Alien French Fry Soldier: You know, you guys, I'm a big fan, YOU GUYS ARE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY COOL, I love you guys! You want your shoes shined or anything? You rock, I hope you can let me be one of you in a month.
KoD: Aren't you kinda sucking up?
Alien French Fry Soldier: Oh no, my lord, I'm just speaking my mind, I worship you guys, so you should totally give me power.
Steele: Kay, I'm bored of these guys.
Steele began to float sideways in the air, he started opening and closing his mouth, soon, he was chomping all the fry-aliens in the area, until the area was covered in fry leftovers and ketchup.
Stif: Haha, I get it, the ketchup is blood.
KoD: *pets Pachirisu*
Steele: *Wipes ketchup from mouth* Seriously, where'd that come from.
KoD: I don't really care, it's cute.
LGN: Meh, it's pretty much Paris Hilton's dog.
KoD: Is not!
Another fry-alien who was hiding jumped out and took a bite out of Steele, ketchup came out.
Steele: OW!
KoD: *Cuts up fry alien with dark blades, or spikes, or whatever they're supposed to be* Sigh, well, now that that's all over, it's time for the Elite Anime award!
Steele: We recognize how important this award is, because of all the anime fans on the site.
Stif: Yeah, and all the people that like the show Pokemon, ZING!
KoD: Grumble
Steele: Anyway, our nominations are....
Stif: Wait a second Steele, I just wanna send a little message to the audience, I just want everyone to know, I really don't like the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
LGN: Um.... kay
Stif: No, it's not okay, I mean, all it is is two guys going down a river finding random things that are supposed to mean something, and then never mention it again, and it has you waiting for a big payoff at the end, and it doesn't happen, it just doesn't!
Steele: Er... the nominations are: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Dragonball Z, Cowboy Bebop, Bleach, Code Geass, and Soul Eater.
LGN: No Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?
Stif: Yeah, that was one of the two animes I liked!
KoD: Sorry fellas.
Steele: Anyway, the winner is..... DRAGONBALL Z!!!! But seeing as I don't want our stage totally destroyed, no one will be receiving this award. *Tosses it behind back*
Goku and Cell then both dive for it, which becomes an epic battle that the hosts are completely ignorant of in a matter of seconds.
Elite Anime: Dragonball Z
Stif: I'd like to take this time to send out another little message, we at POSTYS love to have a good laugh, but we wanna talk about something serious.
KoD: If you've noticed, there's been a large amount of "n00bs" on the forums lately.
Steele: Now there are several way to handle these people.
LGN: But whether you love them or hate them, we just wanna tell you to control the n00b population and always....
All: SPAY OR NEUTER YOUR N00BS!!!!
The Audience cries out of joy and cheers at the top of their voices, more fireworks go up into the air, again, mostly of Luna.
Stif: Now it's time for something we hope you'll really like! The Fabulous Film Award!
Christian Bale comes out of a Batmobile which transforms into a giant Arnold Schwarzenegger and walks off.
Christian: *angrily* Let's see, for these nominations, we got: The Dark Knight, haha, my movie, The Harry Potter series, High School Musical, Independence Day, Interview With The Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Pirates of the Carribean movies, Rambo, The Simpsons Movie, Slumdog Millionaire, the Star Wars series, and Taken. Wow, you guys sure let a lotta nominations get in this thing. Anyway, the winner's the Dark Knight! I think I'll accept the award due to the fact that well *clears throat* I'M BATMAN.
Aaron Eckhart then jumps onto the stage with half his face burnt off.
Aaron: Oh no you don't Christian, I deserve that award just as much as you do! *Pulls out gun*
Christian then throws a batarang at Aaron's gun, which not only richochets and kills four audience members, but causes the gun to shoot, which kills three more.
Christian: Um... maybe we should, you know, just give this to Christopher Nolan.
Aaron: Um... yeah, let's do that.
They then sheepishly use jetpacks attached to their backs to fly out of the stage, but not before hitting the giant watermelon spaceship.
Fabulous Film : The Dark Knight
Stif: You know, I think the Harry Potter series should've won.
Steele: Why? I mean, I like the Potter series a lot, but, the Dark Knight was so great!
Stif: I know, but you know, the Harry Potter movies had Luna Loveg-
Bert: DON'T YOU DARE!!
Bert walks onto the stage and points a finger accusingly at Stif.
Bert: You mention Luna Lovegood once more and I'll punch you in the face.
Stif: Oh come on Bert, she's such an eccentric character, Evanna Lynch is SO dreamy, she's beautiful and has the perfect voice and-
WHAM!
Stif: Ow! *bleeds ketchup*
Bert: I warned you.
Stif: But she IS, I mean, I could just look at those eyes! I could just stare at them for hou-
WHAM AGAIN!
Stif: Ow! *bleeds more ketchup*
Bert: Stop that!
Stif: Okay! You can't blame me for liking Luna though-
WHAM A THIRD TIME!
Stif: *Bleeds mustard* Owzers! That's how Inspector Gadget would say it, Owzers, you see, it's because he says Wowzers, and ow sounds like wow.
WHAM!
Bert: That was for using a joke that you've told a million times before, which you turned into a CTRL ALT DLT comic in the first place.
Stif: *Bleeds Inspector Gadgets* Yeah, I deserved that, those comics really are awful.
Bert: I know, the sillies aren't that bad, but still.
Stif: Yeah
LGN who seems to have been trying to catch KoD's Pachirisu in a large tupperware container came up to Stif, who's red ketchup blood seemed to be permanently dyed into his hair.
LGN: We need to get back into the show!
Stif: That's right, but shouldn't I get these wounds treated?
LGN: Nah, it's okay.
Stif: Yeah, I guess I'll look more rugged when I finally meet Evanna Lync-
WHAM!
Steele: Yeah, um, anyway, time for the Morbid Movie award! This is for the most vile, terrible, awful, unwatchable films EVAR!
KoD: The nominations are as follows: Barbie Island Princess, Dragonball Evolution, Eragon, High School Musical, Rent, Super Mario Bros: The Movie, and Twilight
And the winner is...... TWILIGHT!!
Robert Pattinson comes up to receive the award.
Rob: Well, um... thanks for this, and y'know, we all work hard at Twilight and I don't think we deserve this, but..... Y'know what? Screw it, you're right, I deserve this! It's an awful movie, just, just awful. I LOVE Harry Potter, and playing Cedric was great, if I could change anything, I wouldn't have played the emo vampire, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to Harry Potter fans and to Daniel Radcliffe and mostly to all the people I have brainwashed into liking Twilight!
He then looked down in shame, but feeling a sense of redeeming, pulled out a wand, and disapparated from the stage.
Morbid Movie: Twilight
Stif: Well, I think we can all agree that the moment we just witnessed was both terrible and heartwarming.
LGN: Well, here's where we would do some sort of crazy random idea, but we're a little short on time, so let's do the next award!
Stif: Wait, we're not doing the NSYNC thing?
Steele: 'Fraid not Stif!
Stif: Darn, anyway, here's the Ace Actor award! Our nominations! Jim Carrey, Robert Deniro, Morgan Freeman, Hugh Jackman, Beyoncé Knowles, Heath Ledger, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Will Smith, Ben Stiller and John Travolta.
KoD: The winner is.... WILL SMITH!
Will Smith came up on the stage to accept the award.
Will: Well, I'd like to just say.....
This is a story all about how,
my life got flipped turned upside down,
and this'll take a second and I'll tell thee,
how I became the Ace Actor and won a POSTY!
On A TV sitcom I made my name!
On the show's set's where I spent most of my days,
Getting my screen time, being real cool
Ratings telling me what I already knew
Till a couple of guys got me a contract
Telling me that in movies they thought I could act
I listened to them, man I thought they were whack
But next thing I knew, I was in Men in Black!
Independence Day, Bad Boys 2,
I thought dude, for real, I must really rule,
I knew I was good, but when they next got me
They told me I'd next be playing Muhammad Ali!
I'd been in a couple more dozen films,
and let's confess that they were all totally wins,
I got a call from my SSBBFF homies,
who told me "Dude, you just won a sweet trophy!"
Ace Actor: Will Smith
Stif: *Clapping* Boy! That was something!
Bert: Haha, I love that song.
LGN: I loved the epic randomness of it, anyhow, onto our next award! Terrible Thespian!
Steele: Nominations Are: Drake Bell, Zac Efron, Sienna Guillory, Paris Hilton, and Mike Myers.
KoD: The winner is (extra speshul drumroll) PARIS HILTON!
Paris Hilton walks onto the stage in a labcoat and some snazzy glasses. She picks up the POSTYS award and looks at the audience. She speaks in an unexpectedly dignified and intelligent manner.
Paris: Well, I guess I won Terrible Thespian, quite a failure, but really, is it I who failed, or is it you? The voters. You see, I just have this little aching feeling that you really haven't seen any of the movies that I've been in, I've been enough movies, Repo, Pledge This, A couple of spoof appearances as myself, but you've never watched them. You just had nothing better to do than to gun me down! I mean, lemme see this, what was I nominated for?! "One Night in Paris"! I hope you realize that was a sex tape, which gives me two theories, one: that you watched it and are a sick pervert, or two: you had no idea what I was in and just posted the first thing you saw on Wikipedia! I mean, this list has Sienna Guillory, and she was nominated for an actual movie! But yeah, I'll accept this award anyway, thanks. Anyway, I'm really here to prove to the world that I'm not just a dumb blonde.
Paris gets a blackboard and chalk, and with one complicated equation, disproves Einstein's theory of relativity, and finds out who killed JFK, ironically, the shape of the equation resembles Evanna Lynch's face.
Stif: OMG IT'S-
Bert: Shut up.
The Audience is confused, but grows angry, they begin to throw multiple animals on stage in their fury.
KoD: Why are they doing this? I thought that would get a good reaction!
Paris: Nah, people hate it when celebrities are smarter than them, they like to think their unfortunate lives and unluck is based on the fact that they're more intelligent than those who have it better off. Well, I guess I'd better settle this down.
Paris forces a blank look to come over her face.
Paris: Ugh..... Whoa, like where I am I?
Audience: *Confused, but starts to applaud*
Paris: *Looks at POSTY* I won something? That's hot!
Audience: *Goes wild*
Paris: *Looks at KoD's Pachirisu* Oh there you are, Tinkerbell! I've been looking for you everywhere!
Idiot in Audience: Haha, her being dumb makes me feel better about my life!
Another Audience Idiot: I know! Now let's go to Starbucks and pretend like we know about politics!
Paris takes the Pachirisu and puts it in her purse. LGN turns to KoD, who gives him five dollars.
LGN: Told ya.
KoD: Grumble.
Paris Hilton then steps into the time machine she invented ahead of time, and zapped to the future.
Terrible Thespian : Paris Hilton
LGN and Steele did what seemed to be an Irish Folk Dance for no particular reason.
Stif: Wait, why did-
Steele: POSTYS
Stif: Oh yes, that's right.
LGN and Steele continue to dance, this time a random midget from the audience joins them.
Stif: Anyway.... time for the Awesome Album award! The award to the best album sent out by any artist! Here to present the award is Beck!
Beck walks very lazily onto the stage and puts the mic way too close to his mouth.
Beck: *Murmur murmur* nominations *murmur* Beyoncé's Diva, Metallica's Master of Puppets, Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue, Streetlight Manifesto's Somewhere in the Between, Blink-182's Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, and finally, All-American Rejects' When the World Comes Down.
KoD: I don't get what he's saying. He must be a maverick.
Beck: *Murmur murmur* Winner *Murmur* When the World Comes Down.
Beck tries to leave, but he passes out before he gets out, Mewtwo has to escort him out.
Awesome Album : When The World Comes Down, by The All-American Rejects
LGN: Usually, next would be the Spectacular Singers, but that is also being saved for later, so now it's time for another beautifully negative award, PITIFUL PERFORMER(S)!!!
KoD: We wanted to have Rick Astley present this one as well, unfortunately, he's currently in an insane asylum, so we'll do this one ourselves! The nominations are, the Jonas Brothers, and the Cheetah Girls (Without Raven-Symoné), well, um.... it's Jonas Brothers.
Stif: And the Jonas Brothers couldn't be here because they're on tour, or filming a show, I'm not sure, I don't really care. *Throws POSTY behind him*
Pitiful Performer(s) : The Jonas Brothers
KoD: The Jonas Brothers, the only souls on this Earth more evil than I.
Stif: And this folks, is the final POSTYS Entertainment Award! It's time for the Best Youtube Video Award, if you don't know what that is, then you're some kind of stupid!
LGN: We were going to have the Angry Video Game Nerd present this award, but our censors would murder us, so I'm going to do it in his place! Our nominations are, wow, this is a LOT, anyway, they are..... Brawl Taunts, Never Gonna Give You Up, Waka Laka for Osaka, The King of Evil, Memes A La Brawl, People Getting FALCON PAWNCHED, Wind Waker Unplugged, How To Brawl Like A, So Long Dental Plan, Darth Sidious Gets A Job, More Brawl Taunts, and finally The King Downloads Sony Vegas.
Stif: Maybe Christian Bale's right, we DO have a lot of nominations......
LGN: Anyway, the winner of the POSTY for Best Youtube video, our last award in the Entertainment section goes to........
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNaZedAWmlE
Stif: Wait for it, wait for it....
LGN: A TIE BETWEEN MEMES A LA BRAWL AND HOW TO BRAWL LIKE A MAN!
The crowd goes nuts, everyone's laughing, crying, and singing, what a time to live, what a glorious day!
Best Youtube Video: Tie Between Memes A La Brawl and How To Brawl Like A Man.
Stif: Those sure were some great awards, but now, the Entertainment Awards are over. However, stay tuned for the rest of the POSTYS.
LGN: Anyway, to send us off until then is our good friend Bert who will be singing a song very close to his heart!
Bert: *Grabs Mic* O......
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBiZYZXiGsM
Bert: Canada, my home and native land!
True patriot love
*Stif and LGN join in*
Stif, LGN and Bert: In all thy sons command.
*KoD and Steele follow suit*
KoD, Steele, Stif, LGN, and Bert: With glowing hearts, we see thee rise
The true north, strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada
We stand on guard for thee!
*Will Smith, Beck, Mewtwo, Goku, Cell, Paris Hilton, Pachirisu, Robert Pattinson, Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, and a naked Rick Astley join in. Luna fireworks go into the air, this time, with her giving a salute*
Will Smith, Beck, Mewtwo, Goku, Cell, Paris Hilton, Pachirisu, Robert Pattinson, Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Rick Astley, KoD, Steele, Stif, LGN, and Bert: God keep our land glorious and free
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee,
O Canada, we stand on guard for theeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Stif: Thank you! Thank you! I love the POSTYS! Stay tuned everyone! More POSTYS shows coming up! And remember, to Always Love Luna!!
Stifmeister walked out from the corner of the stage wearing the stereotypical outfit of a white Tee and blue jeans, only slightly modified by the Slytherin House necklace around his neck.
Stif: Hey folks, lemme tell ya, we got a great remainder of the show coming up, right now I'm gonna show ya the POSTY entertainment winners, along with a little help from a couple of surprise guests, and of course, after that, we've got LGN giving out the other awards you haven't heard yet. And I just wanna remind everyone that, of course, a lot of you who missed the official award ceremonies and are reading it late, please don't just skip to the awards, people spend a lot of time on this stuff, so try to read the actual writing. Now, without further ado, I present to you, THE POSTY ENTERTAINMENT AWARD SHOW!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8vINCq_IAI
The circus music played, and several fantastic fireworks went up into the air, most of the sparks sent off by them in the sky were shaped perfectly in the image of Evanna Lynch's face with the word "Luna" beside the image.
But some were shaped as iPods or Iron Man, this lasted for about two minutes, until the music abruptly stopped.
Stif:Yeah, sorry about that, we couldn't find Circus music that didn't cut off. We'd like to take this time to recognize our sponsors The Evening Show with Solid! That is our only sponsor ladies and gentlemen! So signore, signori, let's get started on these awards!
The crowd sent out a roar of approval.
Stif: Now, usually, we'd do the favorite song here, but we're doing something a little special tonight, so we're saving that for later, so now we'll just skip to the WORST
SONG
EVER!!!!
The crowd was confused, unsure to cheer or jeer.
Stif: Anyway, to present this 'award' we have last year's winner RICK ASTLEY!
Rick: WOO! Well, you know, winning this award it's not really a good thing, but you know, kinda depressing, anyhow, our nominations are Apologize, by OneRepublic, I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry
and Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley- Hey! How is that fair that I can win it one year and be nominated again?! That's not fair, it's not that bad a song!
Ugh, anyway, the winner is, Barbie Girl... Oh my Go- I didn't get it! I didn't get it! WOO!!! Haha! YES!
*moonwalks and does MJ kicks, then does a High School Musical jump in the air out of happiness*
Worst Song Ever: Barbie Girl, by Aqua.
In his happiness, Rick Astley stripped all his clothes off and ran off stage, only to be tackled and escorted out by Mewtwo, the security guard.
Stif: Well, that was unfortunate, and mostly, my fault, so I'll welcome my fellow POSTYS staff members to the stage to help me out now!
*LGN, KoD, and Steele Enter*
LGN: Hey everybody! Before we start the next award, IT'S PICKLE TIME!
*millions of pickles drop from the sky, several audience members die*
Stif: *Protects Slytherin necklace* Good Lord.
Steele: Anyway, next up is the Fabulous Anime Hero/Heroine/Protagonist/Main Character, this is a big one because we have such big anime fans on the forum!
KoD: Everyone knows that, anyway, here are our nominations: Goku, from the Dragonball series, L from Death Note, and Ichigo Kurosaki, from Bleach.
Stif: And the winner is........
All: GOKU!!
Fabulous Anime Hero/Heroine/Protagonist/Main Character: Goku
Suddenly, an extremely loud shout was heard around Venice, and then a huge energy blast destroyed a quarter of the stage, Goku flew in and snatched the Golden Mushroom.
Goku: Thanks for the award everyone!
KoD: Oh my Pork!
Stif: Why are all our guests insane?!
LGN and Steele: It's POSTYS!
Another pickle fell on Stif's face.
Stif: I imagine I'll get used to it
LGN: *Slaps Stif in the face with a mongoose* Nope!
KoD: *Apparently has found a Pachirisu*
Steele: Is that a Pachirisu?
KoD: Yep, it's my favorite Pokemon.
Stif: But I thought that Pachirisu was SLE's favorite Pokemon.
KoD: *Ignores*
Stif: Anyway, next up is the best Anime Villain, LGN, would you like to present this award?
LGN walked on his hands over to the mic, which was hovering upside down to reach his mouth.
LGN: The nominations are, Cell from Dragonball Z, Sosuke Aizen from Bleach, Legato from Trigun, Britannian King from Code Geass and Majin Buu, also from Dragonball Z.
And the winner is...... CELL!!!!
Cell flies it, prepares to destroy the stage, but notices it is already ravaged.
Cell: It's quite a victory to win this award, but... I was gonna destroy this....
KoD: Sorry, Goku beat you to it
Cell: GOKUUUU!!!! But, um... what should I do now?
Stif: Well, I guess you could-
LGN: DO SQUATS!!!
Cell: *Does eleven and one half squats* Well, thank you for the award. *Flies off*
Best Anime Villain: Cell, from Dragonball Z
Steele: Well, that was out of character of him wasn't it?
(Forum)Cell: YES IT WAS!!
Stif: Where'd that come from?
KoD: MAVERICKS!
Stif: Um....
Steele: You both fail, it's obviously those aliens.
Steele pointed up at the sky, there was a large floating watermelon above the stage. A hole opened up in the hole and out of it floated eight human sized french fries sporting large purple turbans and capes.
Alien French Fry Leader: OMG WE LEIK SAW DA POSTAZ FROM ARE SHIPP AND TAUGHT WED CUMM DOWWN AN WATZ
Stif: Why do these guys seem familiar?
Alien French Fry First Mate: Omg! You're so stupid, you don't know crap! The Harry Potter series is cliche! YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!
LGN: Even I'm tripped out by this.
Alien French Fry Soldier: You know, you guys, I'm a big fan, YOU GUYS ARE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY COOL, I love you guys! You want your shoes shined or anything? You rock, I hope you can let me be one of you in a month.
KoD: Aren't you kinda sucking up?
Alien French Fry Soldier: Oh no, my lord, I'm just speaking my mind, I worship you guys, so you should totally give me power.
Steele: Kay, I'm bored of these guys.
Steele began to float sideways in the air, he started opening and closing his mouth, soon, he was chomping all the fry-aliens in the area, until the area was covered in fry leftovers and ketchup.
Stif: Haha, I get it, the ketchup is blood.
KoD: *pets Pachirisu*
Steele: *Wipes ketchup from mouth* Seriously, where'd that come from.
KoD: I don't really care, it's cute.
LGN: Meh, it's pretty much Paris Hilton's dog.
KoD: Is not!
Another fry-alien who was hiding jumped out and took a bite out of Steele, ketchup came out.
Steele: OW!
KoD: *Cuts up fry alien with dark blades, or spikes, or whatever they're supposed to be* Sigh, well, now that that's all over, it's time for the Elite Anime award!
Steele: We recognize how important this award is, because of all the anime fans on the site.
Stif: Yeah, and all the people that like the show Pokemon, ZING!
KoD: Grumble
Steele: Anyway, our nominations are....
Stif: Wait a second Steele, I just wanna send a little message to the audience, I just want everyone to know, I really don't like the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
LGN: Um.... kay
Stif: No, it's not okay, I mean, all it is is two guys going down a river finding random things that are supposed to mean something, and then never mention it again, and it has you waiting for a big payoff at the end, and it doesn't happen, it just doesn't!
Steele: Er... the nominations are: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Dragonball Z, Cowboy Bebop, Bleach, Code Geass, and Soul Eater.
LGN: No Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?
Stif: Yeah, that was one of the two animes I liked!
KoD: Sorry fellas.
Steele: Anyway, the winner is..... DRAGONBALL Z!!!! But seeing as I don't want our stage totally destroyed, no one will be receiving this award. *Tosses it behind back*
Goku and Cell then both dive for it, which becomes an epic battle that the hosts are completely ignorant of in a matter of seconds.
Elite Anime: Dragonball Z
Stif: I'd like to take this time to send out another little message, we at POSTYS love to have a good laugh, but we wanna talk about something serious.
KoD: If you've noticed, there's been a large amount of "n00bs" on the forums lately.
Steele: Now there are several way to handle these people.
LGN: But whether you love them or hate them, we just wanna tell you to control the n00b population and always....
All: SPAY OR NEUTER YOUR N00BS!!!!
The Audience cries out of joy and cheers at the top of their voices, more fireworks go up into the air, again, mostly of Luna.
Stif: Now it's time for something we hope you'll really like! The Fabulous Film Award!
Christian Bale comes out of a Batmobile which transforms into a giant Arnold Schwarzenegger and walks off.
Christian: *angrily* Let's see, for these nominations, we got: The Dark Knight, haha, my movie, The Harry Potter series, High School Musical, Independence Day, Interview With The Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Pirates of the Carribean movies, Rambo, The Simpsons Movie, Slumdog Millionaire, the Star Wars series, and Taken. Wow, you guys sure let a lotta nominations get in this thing. Anyway, the winner's the Dark Knight! I think I'll accept the award due to the fact that well *clears throat* I'M BATMAN.
Aaron Eckhart then jumps onto the stage with half his face burnt off.
Aaron: Oh no you don't Christian, I deserve that award just as much as you do! *Pulls out gun*
Christian then throws a batarang at Aaron's gun, which not only richochets and kills four audience members, but causes the gun to shoot, which kills three more.
Christian: Um... maybe we should, you know, just give this to Christopher Nolan.
Aaron: Um... yeah, let's do that.
They then sheepishly use jetpacks attached to their backs to fly out of the stage, but not before hitting the giant watermelon spaceship.
Fabulous Film : The Dark Knight
Stif: You know, I think the Harry Potter series should've won.
Steele: Why? I mean, I like the Potter series a lot, but, the Dark Knight was so great!
Stif: I know, but you know, the Harry Potter movies had Luna Loveg-
Bert: DON'T YOU DARE!!
Bert walks onto the stage and points a finger accusingly at Stif.
Bert: You mention Luna Lovegood once more and I'll punch you in the face.
Stif: Oh come on Bert, she's such an eccentric character, Evanna Lynch is SO dreamy, she's beautiful and has the perfect voice and-
WHAM!
Stif: Ow! *bleeds ketchup*
Bert: I warned you.
Stif: But she IS, I mean, I could just look at those eyes! I could just stare at them for hou-
WHAM AGAIN!
Stif: Ow! *bleeds more ketchup*
Bert: Stop that!
Stif: Okay! You can't blame me for liking Luna though-
WHAM A THIRD TIME!
Stif: *Bleeds mustard* Owzers! That's how Inspector Gadget would say it, Owzers, you see, it's because he says Wowzers, and ow sounds like wow.
WHAM!
Bert: That was for using a joke that you've told a million times before, which you turned into a CTRL ALT DLT comic in the first place.
Stif: *Bleeds Inspector Gadgets* Yeah, I deserved that, those comics really are awful.
Bert: I know, the sillies aren't that bad, but still.
Stif: Yeah
LGN who seems to have been trying to catch KoD's Pachirisu in a large tupperware container came up to Stif, who's red ketchup blood seemed to be permanently dyed into his hair.
LGN: We need to get back into the show!
Stif: That's right, but shouldn't I get these wounds treated?
LGN: Nah, it's okay.
Stif: Yeah, I guess I'll look more rugged when I finally meet Evanna Lync-
WHAM!
Steele: Yeah, um, anyway, time for the Morbid Movie award! This is for the most vile, terrible, awful, unwatchable films EVAR!
KoD: The nominations are as follows: Barbie Island Princess, Dragonball Evolution, Eragon, High School Musical, Rent, Super Mario Bros: The Movie, and Twilight
And the winner is...... TWILIGHT!!
Robert Pattinson comes up to receive the award.
Rob: Well, um... thanks for this, and y'know, we all work hard at Twilight and I don't think we deserve this, but..... Y'know what? Screw it, you're right, I deserve this! It's an awful movie, just, just awful. I LOVE Harry Potter, and playing Cedric was great, if I could change anything, I wouldn't have played the emo vampire, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to Harry Potter fans and to Daniel Radcliffe and mostly to all the people I have brainwashed into liking Twilight!
He then looked down in shame, but feeling a sense of redeeming, pulled out a wand, and disapparated from the stage.
Morbid Movie: Twilight
Stif: Well, I think we can all agree that the moment we just witnessed was both terrible and heartwarming.
LGN: Well, here's where we would do some sort of crazy random idea, but we're a little short on time, so let's do the next award!
Stif: Wait, we're not doing the NSYNC thing?
Steele: 'Fraid not Stif!
Stif: Darn, anyway, here's the Ace Actor award! Our nominations! Jim Carrey, Robert Deniro, Morgan Freeman, Hugh Jackman, Beyoncé Knowles, Heath Ledger, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Will Smith, Ben Stiller and John Travolta.
KoD: The winner is.... WILL SMITH!
Will Smith came up on the stage to accept the award.
Will: Well, I'd like to just say.....
This is a story all about how,
my life got flipped turned upside down,
and this'll take a second and I'll tell thee,
how I became the Ace Actor and won a POSTY!
On A TV sitcom I made my name!
On the show's set's where I spent most of my days,
Getting my screen time, being real cool
Ratings telling me what I already knew
Till a couple of guys got me a contract
Telling me that in movies they thought I could act
I listened to them, man I thought they were whack
But next thing I knew, I was in Men in Black!
Independence Day, Bad Boys 2,
I thought dude, for real, I must really rule,
I knew I was good, but when they next got me
They told me I'd next be playing Muhammad Ali!
I'd been in a couple more dozen films,
and let's confess that they were all totally wins,
I got a call from my SSBBFF homies,
who told me "Dude, you just won a sweet trophy!"
Ace Actor: Will Smith
Stif: *Clapping* Boy! That was something!
Bert: Haha, I love that song.
LGN: I loved the epic randomness of it, anyhow, onto our next award! Terrible Thespian!
Steele: Nominations Are: Drake Bell, Zac Efron, Sienna Guillory, Paris Hilton, and Mike Myers.
KoD: The winner is (extra speshul drumroll) PARIS HILTON!
Paris Hilton walks onto the stage in a labcoat and some snazzy glasses. She picks up the POSTYS award and looks at the audience. She speaks in an unexpectedly dignified and intelligent manner.
Paris: Well, I guess I won Terrible Thespian, quite a failure, but really, is it I who failed, or is it you? The voters. You see, I just have this little aching feeling that you really haven't seen any of the movies that I've been in, I've been enough movies, Repo, Pledge This, A couple of spoof appearances as myself, but you've never watched them. You just had nothing better to do than to gun me down! I mean, lemme see this, what was I nominated for?! "One Night in Paris"! I hope you realize that was a sex tape, which gives me two theories, one: that you watched it and are a sick pervert, or two: you had no idea what I was in and just posted the first thing you saw on Wikipedia! I mean, this list has Sienna Guillory, and she was nominated for an actual movie! But yeah, I'll accept this award anyway, thanks. Anyway, I'm really here to prove to the world that I'm not just a dumb blonde.
Paris gets a blackboard and chalk, and with one complicated equation, disproves Einstein's theory of relativity, and finds out who killed JFK, ironically, the shape of the equation resembles Evanna Lynch's face.
Stif: OMG IT'S-
Bert: Shut up.
The Audience is confused, but grows angry, they begin to throw multiple animals on stage in their fury.
KoD: Why are they doing this? I thought that would get a good reaction!
Paris: Nah, people hate it when celebrities are smarter than them, they like to think their unfortunate lives and unluck is based on the fact that they're more intelligent than those who have it better off. Well, I guess I'd better settle this down.
Paris forces a blank look to come over her face.
Paris: Ugh..... Whoa, like where I am I?
Audience: *Confused, but starts to applaud*
Paris: *Looks at POSTY* I won something? That's hot!
Audience: *Goes wild*
Paris: *Looks at KoD's Pachirisu* Oh there you are, Tinkerbell! I've been looking for you everywhere!
Idiot in Audience: Haha, her being dumb makes me feel better about my life!
Another Audience Idiot: I know! Now let's go to Starbucks and pretend like we know about politics!
Paris takes the Pachirisu and puts it in her purse. LGN turns to KoD, who gives him five dollars.
LGN: Told ya.
KoD: Grumble.
Paris Hilton then steps into the time machine she invented ahead of time, and zapped to the future.
Terrible Thespian : Paris Hilton
LGN and Steele did what seemed to be an Irish Folk Dance for no particular reason.
Stif: Wait, why did-
Steele: POSTYS
Stif: Oh yes, that's right.
LGN and Steele continue to dance, this time a random midget from the audience joins them.
Stif: Anyway.... time for the Awesome Album award! The award to the best album sent out by any artist! Here to present the award is Beck!
Beck walks very lazily onto the stage and puts the mic way too close to his mouth.
Beck: *Murmur murmur* nominations *murmur* Beyoncé's Diva, Metallica's Master of Puppets, Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue, Streetlight Manifesto's Somewhere in the Between, Blink-182's Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, and finally, All-American Rejects' When the World Comes Down.
KoD: I don't get what he's saying. He must be a maverick.
Beck: *Murmur murmur* Winner *Murmur* When the World Comes Down.
Beck tries to leave, but he passes out before he gets out, Mewtwo has to escort him out.
Awesome Album : When The World Comes Down, by The All-American Rejects
LGN: Usually, next would be the Spectacular Singers, but that is also being saved for later, so now it's time for another beautifully negative award, PITIFUL PERFORMER(S)!!!
KoD: We wanted to have Rick Astley present this one as well, unfortunately, he's currently in an insane asylum, so we'll do this one ourselves! The nominations are, the Jonas Brothers, and the Cheetah Girls (Without Raven-Symoné), well, um.... it's Jonas Brothers.
Stif: And the Jonas Brothers couldn't be here because they're on tour, or filming a show, I'm not sure, I don't really care. *Throws POSTY behind him*
Pitiful Performer(s) : The Jonas Brothers
KoD: The Jonas Brothers, the only souls on this Earth more evil than I.
Stif: And this folks, is the final POSTYS Entertainment Award! It's time for the Best Youtube Video Award, if you don't know what that is, then you're some kind of stupid!
LGN: We were going to have the Angry Video Game Nerd present this award, but our censors would murder us, so I'm going to do it in his place! Our nominations are, wow, this is a LOT, anyway, they are..... Brawl Taunts, Never Gonna Give You Up, Waka Laka for Osaka, The King of Evil, Memes A La Brawl, People Getting FALCON PAWNCHED, Wind Waker Unplugged, How To Brawl Like A, So Long Dental Plan, Darth Sidious Gets A Job, More Brawl Taunts, and finally The King Downloads Sony Vegas.
Stif: Maybe Christian Bale's right, we DO have a lot of nominations......
LGN: Anyway, the winner of the POSTY for Best Youtube video, our last award in the Entertainment section goes to........
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNaZedAWmlE
Stif: Wait for it, wait for it....
LGN: A TIE BETWEEN MEMES A LA BRAWL AND HOW TO BRAWL LIKE A MAN!
The crowd goes nuts, everyone's laughing, crying, and singing, what a time to live, what a glorious day!
Best Youtube Video: Tie Between Memes A La Brawl and How To Brawl Like A Man.
Stif: Those sure were some great awards, but now, the Entertainment Awards are over. However, stay tuned for the rest of the POSTYS.
LGN: Anyway, to send us off until then is our good friend Bert who will be singing a song very close to his heart!
Bert: *Grabs Mic* O......
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBiZYZXiGsM
Bert: Canada, my home and native land!
True patriot love
*Stif and LGN join in*
Stif, LGN and Bert: In all thy sons command.
*KoD and Steele follow suit*
KoD, Steele, Stif, LGN, and Bert: With glowing hearts, we see thee rise
The true north, strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada
We stand on guard for thee!
*Will Smith, Beck, Mewtwo, Goku, Cell, Paris Hilton, Pachirisu, Robert Pattinson, Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, and a naked Rick Astley join in. Luna fireworks go into the air, this time, with her giving a salute*
Will Smith, Beck, Mewtwo, Goku, Cell, Paris Hilton, Pachirisu, Robert Pattinson, Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Rick Astley, KoD, Steele, Stif, LGN, and Bert: God keep our land glorious and free
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee,
O Canada, we stand on guard for theeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Stif: Thank you! Thank you! I love the POSTYS! Stay tuned everyone! More POSTYS shows coming up! And remember, to Always Love Luna!!
