Confusion

[starprincess]

Lately I have been having this problem. It seems like I really don't give a d**n about life. Since I was a child the only thing I've cared about is love. Without love I feel like my life is useless. I can't do anything for myself but if I truly love someone I would do anything for them. I can't concentrate on my school work, I have no drive to wake up in the mourning and I don't care to better myself. Many times I wake up in the mourning asking myself "Why I'm I still alive?". I get up to look in the mirror and the underneath that fake yet believable smile I see a lonely girl desperately trying to think better of herself. What is wrong with me?!!!!!

I have no direction for my life. I think about it day after day and I came up with nothing. I was born with this relentless desire for love that I can never achieve and I have this Emo frame of mind about life. I'm going to this college for graphic design but i still don't know if that's what i want to do. My head is just filled with uncertainty and i just can't figure things out. I'm just sad, lonely, confused, and scared. I wish someone would just tell me how to live my life. I follow instructions a lot better than doing thing myself but life isn't that simple. We all have decisions to make and we all have things we must accomplish. But I ask you this...... What If I'm incapable of doing that? What if I have so many fears about the future that I can't make any rational decision regarding it? Idk what to do any more. Maybe you guys can help me out. Am I just a little lost or am I a crazy b***ch that needs to be put into an asylum or something.

Ps: Sorry about all this ahead of time. I had an emotional breakdown last night. They come like once ever few weeks.

PSS: If anyone thinks this is some stupid thing I made up just to get attention, they are wrong and they need to STFU. These are my innermost feelings that tend to pop out once in a while. I don't give a d**n if you don't believe me or not. If you are too ignorant to believe what i have to say leave, don't post here and you can kiss my little white @$$.

[The King Of Darkness]

Oh star... (hugs) So much that i could say here... You have got to find happiness in your life. The one thing that makes your life enjoyable to live. When your on MSN with me you seem pretty happy. Wether that join comes from friendships or enjoyable activities you got to find a goal for yourself in life. Because being without a goal in life, without having hopes and dreams, that's the same as being dead. Your a good person star. You are a spectacular friend and have always been there for me. I've noticed this dark side deep within you and i truly feel if you can reach deep down and look into your heart you can find happiness. You dont deserve to suffer star. None of us do. You know that if you ever need someone to talk to about these issues im only a IM away. So in short you must search your feeling, look deep inside and realize. You DO have meaning on this earth. You wouldn't of been put on this earth if you didn't have a purpose. I see you for the good within you Star. I know you have good within you, but this dark side of yours is shielding it and keeping it from being set free. You have to bring out that good side that i know you have in you. I'm here for you Star. Your my Best friend and i will ALWAYS be here for you no matter what you will go through in your life. Please take all this into consideration.

Edit: I know EXACTLY how you feel. At times my life seems meaningless and bring nothing but misery.. At times more times then others i down right hate life and existing in general and wish to just die. But in the end i realized i had a lot going for me. I have a great set of online friends willing to do anything for me, and an entire forums of friends who care about me. Im not saying life isnt a complete b*tch at times but instead of dwelling on the negatives, try and look at the positives. With every negative there's a positive.

2nd Edit: You cant have people telling you how to run your life star. You'll never be happy that way. You have to live your life doing what you believe is in your best interest. You know me, sometimes i question your decisions but no matter what you choose to do i will support your decision. I think i speak for everyone here when i Say we all just want you to be happy with your life. I believe that you are capable to doing absolutely anything you put your mind to, kinda like the Whole RPG Staff App thing. You said it to me once your self that you are dedicated to whatever you do. That is why i know you will succeed at whatever you choose to do in your life. And as far as love goes, im not an expert on love but im pretty sure one day you will meet the right person who loves you for you and doesn't care that you have an emo state of mind. Who know maybe that special someone will help you banish this dark side for good. I know life is a everlasting struggle and it may seem like your all alone and nothing matters in any way shape of form. But there is good in life. You just have to find it.

Closing comments: I love you like a sister Star and i would do anything to help you. But if you want to be happy you must first be willing to help yourself. Im here help because i care about you star and i hope my words have helped show you the light.

[peram]

Star, we all love you, don't worry

Maybe you need to take a long walk or a hot bath and just think and relax. Those always help me.

You're just a little lost right now, but don't worry, you'll find your way. It happens to all of us. *remembers when his display name was still "Super Depressed Peram." Ugh, I'm glad those days are over*