Post by smashbro on Apr 19, 2009 17:09:33 GMT -5
k...it seems like I've been gone a while...physically it's been like 5 days, but mentally it has been a long time. and i haven't quite returned. so catch me up please, after i catch you up.
the girls on the team from now on will be 1 (taken), 2 (not taken), 3 (not taken), 4 (taken), 5 (not taken)
Last Wednesday, I went to Atlanta, GA for the F.I.R.S.T. Robotics Competition. I was going with the team, who tend to be idiots. My brother is on it this year, and so was hanging out, as I figured, with the idiots of the team. To be honest the ones I'm closest to are the girls, I always talk to them. Back to story.
Actually, first, let's talk about the team. I've been part of it 3 years now, am a co-captain, and feel like I don't do crap. I'm not a good robot driver, I don't know crap about building the robot, and tend to always take a backseat to everyone on the team, because I feel like other people are better suited for the job. This year my brother joined, and he is human player, and everyone is taking to liking him right away. He fits in perfect. He's been there for 2 less years than me, but I feel like with the students he is higher up on the totem pole than me.
then again, with many of the students, I am close to them and talk to them a lot, help them out with problems and whatever. kinda like here, I tended to help with Gurus if I could, and am taking a backseat in the story. I am some kind of mod still i think, but i don't do sh**.
apparently though, some people like me. We had a vote, for 2 members to go out and accept awards, if we were to win one. It would be the top 2 vote getters, and I was one of them. I was surprised as he**, but I guess it might make sense cause I don't try to get mad at anyone, and am friends with a good number of people.
the adults (mentors) also apparently like me, as I do try to help out if I'm asked to and do my best at everything, but wish I would step up more and be more confident. I would rarely drive, but when I tried one time, I wasn't that bad, and if i had more practice I would be ok for the posistion. But like, I went back to get one of the mentors once we realized that the people she was waiting for had already left. I try to keep track of everyone and help get things moving, and apparently people see that, but I still don't think I'm doing crap, since like i said above, I can't talk to the judges, I'm not a driver, I don't know much about building the robot, and basically am not important to the team in my opinion. But more importantly, I had relationship issues. nothin' new, eh?
Back to my usual girl stories.
We get up early, go to the airport, while I try out my new cd, and soon find out every song on there is amazing. I use the plane and bus rides to think about what had happened recently. Me and my girlfriend (well, now ex) broke up the Thursday before, but decided to be friends. We talked again recently and just want to get back to being good friends, because after starting to date, we talked less and less, and our relationship worsened, eventually with us both realizing we should be friends.
To be honest, recently I had been crushing on a girl on the team(3), one of the three (now two) who are still available. I had been talking to her a lot recently, and we were hanging out, i felt comfortable talking to her, and all the such. So, I planned to spend the time there hanging out with her a lot, and maybe seeing if she was starting to like me.
I should have been more concerned about breaking up and not worrying about having a new girl to like, but more on that later.
as the time goes on there, I hang out with her a bit and talk to her, and one night (Friday) I talk to two of the girls on the team about liking her (i talked to 1 and 2). They say that she doesn't like me (like that) and say they're not trying to talk me out of it but they're warning me that she doesn't like me and probably won't change to liking me quickly, not because of me or anything, but that she has ideas that are...idk, but like, even though she says she doesn't like another boy on the team anymore, cause he doesn't like her, she still acts like she likes him. So things don't look great.
Oh, wait, flashback to Thursday during the day. My brother and some of the idiots are talking and eventually try to convince me to ask another girl, one of the available ones, to the Robo-Prom, a dance they were having that night. While she is my friend, she thinks I'm like, in love with her apparently, and to be honest I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be asking her. I tell them off and say no, which eventually springs into a convo with her, the one I started to like, but honestly, at the time i start to question if I really like her, or just want to like someone and she is the logical choice. The day goes on, I ask neither.
I spend this dance like every other one. Only joining in for a couple, mainly like Cha-Cha Slide, you know. I notice #5 sulking alone and try to talk to her, but she won't talk to me about what is bothering her. So I don't know how to help her. But later I hear she danced with another guy, and I get kinda jealous sub-consiously.
Friday again, we're having a social with another team, and I spend a lot of time with her, talking to her and joking around, basically having fun. This is when I realize that I may actually seriously like her like her. I said before that I wasn't sure if it was only cause I always feel like, in my mind, I like to think someone thinks im important to them, boyfriend girlfriend wise. But after hanging out with her then, I could see myself falling for her.
So now on Saturday, at night, there is this carnival/fair thing with blow up rides and everything, and I try again to hang out with her. I stick with her a good deal of the night but she (3) treats me like a friend, at one point talking about wishing how she could stay in contact with the cute guys from one team she met, and talking about a guy she danced with at Robo-Prom. The thing is, I expect this somehow, and start to keep to myself, and stay sad. She takes notice and asks whats wrong, and #2 tells #4 about me liking #3. #3 asks #4 what #2 said, but #2 says not to worry about it, it would make her feel bad. So #3 goes to talk to me, and asks what's wrong, and if I know what #2 said. I reply no, even though in my mind I was 100% sure of what it was. I talked to #3 about liking a girl, but I was pretty sure she didn't like me back, and being discouraged. I didn't tell who when she asked, so i don't know if she knows yet or not.
We walk back, and #3 begins to talk to other team members, spending a lot of time with the guy that "she doesn't like anymore". Meanwhile, #4 comes to talk to me. She told me that i should not necessarily give up on love altogether, but I complain that it has not and will not ever work out for me, and i don't see how it will.
To be honest, I told her the most important thing of this whole time and story, that I honestly don't believe I will end up with anyone in the end. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, and the girl i like rarely ever likes me back, and almost always not at the same time. So i want to stop liking people altogether, but I don't know how. I want to skip out on the pain of futile crushes, and try to prevent the bad feelings that come with being rejected again and again. I just never will end up with anyone. Even though back on Friday when I talked to #1 and 2, they said I should have confidence, girls like guys like me who are good to talk to and everything. #4 also said something like that actually.
Unfortunately, it's only a bro and sis relationship I ever have with anyone. I mean, the team is staying in this hotel, and they said I'm one of the two guys (the other being the guy #3 "doesn't like") they trust to stay in their room with them, like when they're getting ready to go somewhere. I don't mean like when they're dressing, but when they're doing their hair or make up or something. Which is nice and all, and I do feel lucky to be that good friends with them. But I still wish I was more like them, I mean, being outgoing and having the personality that would attract girls and be more...I don't know, but it seems like they have everything, since guys always flock to them at competitions and always have crushes on them, but for me, no one ever likes me like that, and I pass by unnoticed.
So now, I'm basically trying to get used to being the universal big bro, and nothing more.
But I feel bad saying this, because I haven't spent nearly as much time on here as i would like. So what is going on in the rp? and what about in general on the forums, any drama or anything? how is the staff doing?
the girls on the team from now on will be 1 (taken), 2 (not taken), 3 (not taken), 4 (taken), 5 (not taken)
Last Wednesday, I went to Atlanta, GA for the F.I.R.S.T. Robotics Competition. I was going with the team, who tend to be idiots. My brother is on it this year, and so was hanging out, as I figured, with the idiots of the team. To be honest the ones I'm closest to are the girls, I always talk to them. Back to story.
Actually, first, let's talk about the team. I've been part of it 3 years now, am a co-captain, and feel like I don't do crap. I'm not a good robot driver, I don't know crap about building the robot, and tend to always take a backseat to everyone on the team, because I feel like other people are better suited for the job. This year my brother joined, and he is human player, and everyone is taking to liking him right away. He fits in perfect. He's been there for 2 less years than me, but I feel like with the students he is higher up on the totem pole than me.
then again, with many of the students, I am close to them and talk to them a lot, help them out with problems and whatever. kinda like here, I tended to help with Gurus if I could, and am taking a backseat in the story. I am some kind of mod still i think, but i don't do sh**.
apparently though, some people like me. We had a vote, for 2 members to go out and accept awards, if we were to win one. It would be the top 2 vote getters, and I was one of them. I was surprised as he**, but I guess it might make sense cause I don't try to get mad at anyone, and am friends with a good number of people.
the adults (mentors) also apparently like me, as I do try to help out if I'm asked to and do my best at everything, but wish I would step up more and be more confident. I would rarely drive, but when I tried one time, I wasn't that bad, and if i had more practice I would be ok for the posistion. But like, I went back to get one of the mentors once we realized that the people she was waiting for had already left. I try to keep track of everyone and help get things moving, and apparently people see that, but I still don't think I'm doing crap, since like i said above, I can't talk to the judges, I'm not a driver, I don't know much about building the robot, and basically am not important to the team in my opinion. But more importantly, I had relationship issues. nothin' new, eh?
Back to my usual girl stories.
We get up early, go to the airport, while I try out my new cd, and soon find out every song on there is amazing. I use the plane and bus rides to think about what had happened recently. Me and my girlfriend (well, now ex) broke up the Thursday before, but decided to be friends. We talked again recently and just want to get back to being good friends, because after starting to date, we talked less and less, and our relationship worsened, eventually with us both realizing we should be friends.
To be honest, recently I had been crushing on a girl on the team(3), one of the three (now two) who are still available. I had been talking to her a lot recently, and we were hanging out, i felt comfortable talking to her, and all the such. So, I planned to spend the time there hanging out with her a lot, and maybe seeing if she was starting to like me.
I should have been more concerned about breaking up and not worrying about having a new girl to like, but more on that later.
as the time goes on there, I hang out with her a bit and talk to her, and one night (Friday) I talk to two of the girls on the team about liking her (i talked to 1 and 2). They say that she doesn't like me (like that) and say they're not trying to talk me out of it but they're warning me that she doesn't like me and probably won't change to liking me quickly, not because of me or anything, but that she has ideas that are...idk, but like, even though she says she doesn't like another boy on the team anymore, cause he doesn't like her, she still acts like she likes him. So things don't look great.
Oh, wait, flashback to Thursday during the day. My brother and some of the idiots are talking and eventually try to convince me to ask another girl, one of the available ones, to the Robo-Prom, a dance they were having that night. While she is my friend, she thinks I'm like, in love with her apparently, and to be honest I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be asking her. I tell them off and say no, which eventually springs into a convo with her, the one I started to like, but honestly, at the time i start to question if I really like her, or just want to like someone and she is the logical choice. The day goes on, I ask neither.
I spend this dance like every other one. Only joining in for a couple, mainly like Cha-Cha Slide, you know. I notice #5 sulking alone and try to talk to her, but she won't talk to me about what is bothering her. So I don't know how to help her. But later I hear she danced with another guy, and I get kinda jealous sub-consiously.
Friday again, we're having a social with another team, and I spend a lot of time with her, talking to her and joking around, basically having fun. This is when I realize that I may actually seriously like her like her. I said before that I wasn't sure if it was only cause I always feel like, in my mind, I like to think someone thinks im important to them, boyfriend girlfriend wise. But after hanging out with her then, I could see myself falling for her.
So now on Saturday, at night, there is this carnival/fair thing with blow up rides and everything, and I try again to hang out with her. I stick with her a good deal of the night but she (3) treats me like a friend, at one point talking about wishing how she could stay in contact with the cute guys from one team she met, and talking about a guy she danced with at Robo-Prom. The thing is, I expect this somehow, and start to keep to myself, and stay sad. She takes notice and asks whats wrong, and #2 tells #4 about me liking #3. #3 asks #4 what #2 said, but #2 says not to worry about it, it would make her feel bad. So #3 goes to talk to me, and asks what's wrong, and if I know what #2 said. I reply no, even though in my mind I was 100% sure of what it was. I talked to #3 about liking a girl, but I was pretty sure she didn't like me back, and being discouraged. I didn't tell who when she asked, so i don't know if she knows yet or not.
We walk back, and #3 begins to talk to other team members, spending a lot of time with the guy that "she doesn't like anymore". Meanwhile, #4 comes to talk to me. She told me that i should not necessarily give up on love altogether, but I complain that it has not and will not ever work out for me, and i don't see how it will.
To be honest, I told her the most important thing of this whole time and story, that I honestly don't believe I will end up with anyone in the end. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, and the girl i like rarely ever likes me back, and almost always not at the same time. So i want to stop liking people altogether, but I don't know how. I want to skip out on the pain of futile crushes, and try to prevent the bad feelings that come with being rejected again and again. I just never will end up with anyone. Even though back on Friday when I talked to #1 and 2, they said I should have confidence, girls like guys like me who are good to talk to and everything. #4 also said something like that actually.
Unfortunately, it's only a bro and sis relationship I ever have with anyone. I mean, the team is staying in this hotel, and they said I'm one of the two guys (the other being the guy #3 "doesn't like") they trust to stay in their room with them, like when they're getting ready to go somewhere. I don't mean like when they're dressing, but when they're doing their hair or make up or something. Which is nice and all, and I do feel lucky to be that good friends with them. But I still wish I was more like them, I mean, being outgoing and having the personality that would attract girls and be more...I don't know, but it seems like they have everything, since guys always flock to them at competitions and always have crushes on them, but for me, no one ever likes me like that, and I pass by unnoticed.
So now, I'm basically trying to get used to being the universal big bro, and nothing more.
But I feel bad saying this, because I haven't spent nearly as much time on here as i would like. So what is going on in the rp? and what about in general on the forums, any drama or anything? how is the staff doing?
smashbro ~~~ Authority: 20 ~~~ Combat: 10
