Post by Cell on Jun 6, 2008 17:29:59 GMT -5
I found this, this isn't my story. I just wanted to share the humour! ;D
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Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbe-
Clunk.
As per usual in the Riddle House, the alarm clock beside Lord Voldemort’s bed went off at about 7:30 in the morning. It was then hit with a very strong “reducto” curse from the Dark Lord himself for beeping too early. This was also quite normal.
In fact, the Dark Lord went through alarm clocks so quickly that he was considering building his own factory to save on the ostentatiously large expense this early morning habit tended to clock up.
This morning, different from no other in some ways, was actually quite special to many people of the world.
It was Christmas Morning.
The most evil dark lord on the face of the planet cracked open one eye, and decided he’d better get up. He was in quite a good mood for him in the early morning, though, so he also decided not to hit the first death eater he saw in the corridor with a “Crucio” - another morning routine.
Sitting up, Voldemort noticed a large black parcel sitting on the end of his bed. Odd, his death eaters normally presented him with gifts around noon, at the same time. Voldemort did not believe in Christmas Trees.
The Dark Lord eyed the parcel suspiciously. Finally, he picked it up and cautiously opened the wrapping. Inside was a black cube, about 30cm by 30cm. It was quite plain, with nothing on it as all. Then he spotted a large red button on one of the faces, evidently the top.
Being the overconfident dark lord he was, the High Lord Voldemort decided that this box was altogether to obvious to be any kind of a trap, bomb, or similarly unpleasant apparatus for generally kicking his butt with, and hit the big red button.
This, however, was a big mistake.
The box began to hum. It got louder and louder, and then suddenly-
Dum dum dum, da da dum, da da dummmm
Dum dum dum, da de dum, dum da dummmm.
Voldemort jumped back with shock, wand out and pointed straight at the thing on the end of his bed. It rose into the air, at about waist height, following him at about a metre’s distance. He didn’t have a clue what this tune was; only that it was dark and evil and coming from the box. Actually, it was kinda good...
After the tune had completed itself, it began again from the beginning. Voldemort didn’t mind. He’d decided he really liked this music. This was a brilliant Christmas gift. This was his opinion, until the box had played the tune again... And again... Then he decided he really should get to breakfast. He got up and headed for the door.
The box followed him.
He tuned back, grasped the box and tried to find the “off” switch.
There wasn’t one.
Getting frustrated, Voldemort hit the thing with a silencio.
It kept playing.
Really pissed off now, Voldemort stepped back to get a clear shot.
Avada kedavra!
Fully expecting the truly annoying box to explode, the Dark Lord immediately brought up a shield.
It didn’t explode. It kept right on playing. Only, now it played an even more annoying song that Voldemort again did not recognise, and it was neither dark nor evil:
“You can’t stop the music; Nobody can stop the music...”
“ARRRRRRRRRRG!”
Voldemort’s scream of outrage was heard all throughout the manor, and several death eaters came bursting into the room, only to find Voldemort running around the bed trying to escape the music, screaming his head off. The box was following behind, still playing its new tune, only louder now to be heard above the screaming.
“My Lord?!” One of the death eaters hollered at the top of his voice, trying to take in the situation.
“ARRRG! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT TURN IT OFF!!” Screamed the now hysterical ruler-of-the-world-to-be.
The death eaters all proceeded to attempt to curse the object into oblivion, with no success whatsoever. Finally, everyone was exhausted and had no option but to stand there, gasping, and waiting for the box to finish.
Which it did, after what seemed like an age. After being allowed to finish its song (whenever hit with an unforgivable it would begin again), it began playing the original tune again.
This was more bearable, and (still accompanied by the box) Voldemort and his invincible array of death eaters headed downstairs for breakfast.
As usual, all the death eaters currently eating breakfast (I thought they ate death? Oh well) stood when their master entered the room. They had plenty of warning he was coming. The tune preceded him and it was about thirty seconds after they heard him that he actually came sweeping into the room, black box bobbing along behind.
There was some suppressed laughter, which was quickly stifled, from some of the younger death eaters. There where slight smiles on every face, but no one was brave enough to openly laugh at the Master.
The tune played all through the Christmas breakfast and all through the morning while Voldemort sat in his large ebony throne directing a lot of evil people to do a lot of evil things, cursing them whenever the mood took him and generally making himself feel important.
By lunch, however, the repetitive tune was verging on unbearable, and all the Death Eaters sighed (silently) in relief when the master announced that he would be dining in his own private chambers.
Once it was (relatively) safe, a large discussion ensued as to the sender of the infamous black box, the origin of the incredibly irritating tune and bets were made as to how long the tune would continue for, and how long the Dark Lord would last without suffering from a (second) nervous breakdown.
As usual, Lucius Malfoy dominated the conversation. Crabbe made a few amusingly dim-witted comments. “I think it’s a muggle tune” was one – the fact that it was blindingly obvious in addition to the mention of the forbidden word caused Lucius to curse him several times and refuse him any lunch (Crabbe didn’t much care about the first punishment, though the second was harsh enough to bring him to tears).
Severus Snape was sitting unobtrusively in the corner, as was his wont, quietly observing his companions.
There was one slight difference on this day, though. If one looked very closely, one would see the amused glint in his eyes, and the slightly pained look that passed over his face every so-often.
After lunch had been consumed, the Death Eaters assembled in the throne room. Each carried a package of some kind.
After the lower ranks had presented their Noel offerings to their lord and master - mostly Dark books and artefacts, though one was foolish enough to offer a black and silver scarf and was duly punished (thought the Dark Lord did not destroy the scarf, or damage it in any way, instead placing it carefully under a rather large edition of “An Advanced Guide to Blood Rituals) - they departed, leaving behind the inner circle.
Thirteen black-cloaked figures formed a half-circle around their Lord. At their turn, each stepped forward, knelt, and placed a carefully wrapped parcel at the feet of the Dark Lord.
These were the presents Voldemort had been most looking forward to – his inner circle knew him as well as anyone could, and it showed in their choice of gift.
They ranged from a large collection of interesting new potions from Snape that the Potions Master had created himself just for this occasion; to a rather stunning black robe embroidered with snakes from Lucius.
Bellatrix Lestrange gave him the wizarding equivalent of a dartboard (specially modified to withstand any curse sent at it), with a cycling series of images including Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge; while Wormtails contribution was a pair of black fluffy slippers compete with warming charm - the stone floors were very cold in winter, and it would be undignified for a Dark Lord to have frostbitten toes.
During these proceedings, the evil tune echoed around the stone walls, each repetition further eroding Voldemort’s already-strained self-control.
By the time all the gifts had been distributed, the most evil man on the earth was beginning to visibly lose control. As the tune began its 629th repetition, the Dark Lord Voldemort snapped.
Ron and Hermione sat on the Hogwarts Express as it sped towards the wizarding school. They had both gone home for Christmas, though Harry had preferred to stay rather than return to the Dursley's.
Both were greatly looking forward to seeing their friend again.
When they stepped down from the carriages drawn by the invisible Thestrals, they saw Harry waiting for them, at the top of the steps to the Entrance Hall.
He was soon engulfed in a huge hug for Hermione, who plied him with questions as to how his holidays had been and whether he had finished all his schoolwork.
Ron laughed as he joined them, and together they walked into the Great Hall, which was slowly filling with chattering students.
Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Harry greeted his friends happily. When asked as to what he had done to fill the empty weeks, he only smiled and told his friends that he had “kept busy,” before deftly changing the subject.
Soon all the seats were filled, and Dumbledore stood to welcome everyone to the feast. Harry scanned the high table, meeting the eyes of Hagrid who grinned, the Headmaster who smiled and inclined his head in acknowledgement, and Professor Lupin who winked at him. Fred and George Weasley, who were visiting on Order business, were busy discussing a private matter between them and didn’t notice Harry glance at them.
Harry grinned at his teachers, and turned back to his friends and his dinner, joking happily with Ron and Neville and discussing the DADA essay Professor Lupin had set them with Hermione.
When they were all sufficiently stuffed, Dumbledore stood to dismiss them.
He was interrupted, however, by the sudden appearance of a large screen on the wall above the door to the Entrance Hall.
A look of puzzlement flashed across the old mans face.
A message appeared on the screen. “Please sit, Headmaster.”
Dumbledore did so, still looking confused.
“Thank you.” The message continued. “This is a late Christmas present to the entire school. We hope you enjoy it.”
The screen turned black, and then white writing formed slowly. “In tribute to the Marauders.” It read
Several of the professors turned to look at Lupin, but he was as lost as they were. Both he and the twins glanced at Harry, but the boy’s attention was focused on the screen.
The white writing faded, and two words took its place. “For Padfoot”
Harry turned and caught Remus’s eye. He winked quietly, while the hall filled with murmurs about these mysterious characters.
This message also faded, replaced by a video image of an owl winging its way through the air over mountains and forests.
The muggleborns were unsurprised, though a few had to explain to their wizard-raised friends what video was.
On screen, the owl continued to fly, approaching a large stone castle set in an inaccessible position on the side of a mountain.
Up at the High Table, one Professor Severus Snape had turned dead white as he realised what was about to happen.
The bird neared the massive structure, and entered a small window. It dropped a wrapped package onto the black sheets of a very large bed before making a hasty exit.
The figure in the bed was unidentifiable, so everyone sat in silent confusion watching the unknown person sleep.
Snape had covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. It took all his Slytherin training not to bang his head, hard on the table in front of him. Several of the professors were watching him in astonishment at this display, but none were brave enough to comment.
Suddenly, the silence was pierced by a very loud noise
Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbe-
Clunk.
A curse was fired at the offending appliance, as the figure in the bed grudgingly awoke.
As they sat up, the hall was filled with screams of shock, and gasps of confusion.
Lord Voldemort rubbed sleep from his blood-red eyes, and blinked blearily as he tried to neaten his messy hair.
A few students stifled cries as the most feared dark lord of the century flopped back against his pillows, covering a yawn.
The students and teachers alike watched as the Dark Lord slowly got up, before noticing the package the owl had left on the end of his bed.
They watched in confused curiosity as he unwrapped and examined the black box.
But when he pressed the big red button, everything changed.
As the music began, the muggleborns listened for a few bars, before looking at each other incredulously and trying to stifle laughter.
Soon half the students were cacking themselves laughing. Dean Thomas had fallen out of his seat, and was rolling on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Several of the teachers were stifling laughter. Lupin was watching Harry bemusedly, while the twins were looking both amused and confused.
Snape had buried his face in his arms and was shaking either from laughter, exasperation or sheer mental anguish.
The purebloods were looking around in confusion, wondering what all the fuss was about.
“What’s so funny?” Ron asked Harry, unable to get a straight answer from Hermione who was doubled up with giggles.
Harry’s grin grew larger, and he told Ron “The tune – it’s very famous in the Muggle world. From a movie called Star Wars – it’s the theme for the main bad guy, Darth Vader.”
Ron looked blank. Harry just grinned at him, and gestured to watch the screen.
Voldemort was tiring of the tune, and cast the ‘silencio.’ No effect.
The hall quieted a bit. Everyone was watching, avidly awaiting what would happen next.
After the Unforgivable was fired, the second tune began. This time, the entire hall echoed with the sounds of mirth as the Dark Lord went into hysterics at the sound of this new, happy tune.
The sound of “You can’t stop the music” was heard even over the laughter and the loud noises of Voldemort going mad and a number of figures in black trying to both calm down their lord and master, and stop the music coming from the small black box.
Soon however, the music had returned to its first tune, and the box followed the Dark Lord and his minions out of the room.
Snippets of the day continued, including footage of the Dark Lord in his majestic throne, serpentine face composed except for the slight twitches of one blood-red eye and the convulsive tightening of his fingers; the lunchtime punishment of Crabbe and the 50 galleon bet from Lucius Malfoy that the Master would ‘lose it’ again before 3pm.
The school was now over their initial fear and shock at seeing the most evil man on the planet, and watched the proceedings in fascination, the music playing all the while.
Many known Death Eaters appeared on the screen, including several famous for escaping Azkaban that previous summer, but no new faces were seen.
Much to Snape’s relief, his only appearance was as a dark figure in the background, always unidentifiable though distinct.
After the mornings events had been skimmed through, there were a few shots of the presentation of gifts. The scarf brought a few chuckles, before the lower ranks left, and the Inner circle was left.
The hall watched as the Dark Lord was presented with his gifts. The dart-board brought even more laughter, while the slippers had half the students in helpless giggles.
Finally, the big moment arrived. The hall watched as the tune began again. The Dark Lord Voldemort turned to it, red eyes wide and glaring.
He opened his mouth, and everyone drew a collective breath.
The dark lord slowly approached the floating box, nostrils flared. He stopped, eyes still fixed on the box.
“Any minute now...” Lucius muttered to Bellatrix
The dark lord, completely oblivious to the gambling antics of his most faithful death eaters, screamed. It was a long howl of insanity, soaring out of audible pitch. His pale hands were clasped over his ears in an effort to stop the sound. He let go of his temper and with it, the control of his magic. His not insignificant power flooded out, pouring over the estate. Around him the castle began to crumble, cracks snaking up the walls and dust floating down from the ceiling.
The Death Eaters traded looks, and then Lucius took control. Quickly he marshalled the Inner Circle to get as much as possible out before the entire building collapsed.
Bellatrix raised her wand and carefully floated her sobbing lord and master out of the room. Voldemort was curled into a small ball, shaking and rocking back and forth.
Wormtail held the door for her, and together they got the hysterical Dark Lord away before the lower ranks saw what was happening.
The screen flashed with images of the lower panicking, racing around while the Inner Circle tried to save as much as possible, for a while before returning to follow the Dark Lord.
The students watched, holding back giggles as Voldemort was levitated out through a small side-entrance by Bellatrix and Wormtail. The box followed after them, still playing its tune.
The small group climbed a way up the hill, out of danger, before stopping. Bellatrix lowered her Master to the ground, where he curled into a tight ball, shaking and shivering.
The two Death Eaters watched as cracks ran up the sides of the once-mighty castle. Slowly, almost gracefully, it crumbled; large chunks of stone rolling away down the mountain.
The dull roar echoed around the hall, overriding every other noise. After what seemed an age, it faded.
The chirping of a single bird filled the silence.
The Dark Lord sat up slowly. The music had stopped! He looked around, and saw the ruin that had once been his fortress.
The box started glowing, and all eyes turned to it. Once more song burst from it, but a different one this time.
“Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing.”
The song echoed around the hall. Everyone was silent as it continued
“Who could live without it, I ask in all honesty, what would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me.”
As the song came to a close, the small black box let off a cloud of golden smoke that filled the screen. It slowly faded into blackness
The whole hall burst into huge cheers and applause. The large chamber rang with the shouts and yells of joy, humour and gratitude.
The staff clapped too, and Hagrid whistled loudly. Snape had stopped shaking, his face composed. But anyone who cared to look would see a small smile creep across his face.
The Headmaster was confused. He had had no advance warning of this unexpected presentation – a very new phenomenon. He was also not certain who had done it, though he had very strong suspicions. He looked down at Harry, and their eyes met. The deep emerald eyes were sparkling with humour, twinkling in a way very similar to that of a certain Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Dumbledore let his bemusement show on his face, and Harry grinned. A voice whispered in Dumbledore’s ear “It is amazing what one can hide when one opens ones eyes.”
The old man was shocked, but had to laugh.
Once the hall had finally calmed down, Dumbledore stood up again. “I would like to thank our mysterious benefactor for that most amusing gift.”
Applause swept through the hall again, though calmer this time.
Dumbledore waited for it to die down before continuing. “However, I believe that some of the students, particularly those wizard-raised, did not understand some of the jokes. So, to remedy this, this weekend we will have an, uh, movie night. On Saturday evening, after dinner, all students are invited to stay here in the Great Hall. We will be screening the Star Wars Trilogy.”
Again, the Headmaster had to pause and wait for the cheers to die down.
“We will also provide all cushions and blankets. The house-elves will whip up all necessary supplies in the way of sustenance. I hope to see you all there! Now, off to bed. Goodnight!”
As the students flooded out, heading for various common-rooms and dorms, Harry Potter joined his friends in discussing the happenings of the evening. Looking back, he met the tired amber eyes of one Remus Lupin. The lycanthrope raised a hand in farewell.
Harry waved back, and the two shared a sad smile. Padfoot would have been proud.
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Well I hope you all enjoyed that!
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Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbe-
Clunk.
As per usual in the Riddle House, the alarm clock beside Lord Voldemort’s bed went off at about 7:30 in the morning. It was then hit with a very strong “reducto” curse from the Dark Lord himself for beeping too early. This was also quite normal.
In fact, the Dark Lord went through alarm clocks so quickly that he was considering building his own factory to save on the ostentatiously large expense this early morning habit tended to clock up.
This morning, different from no other in some ways, was actually quite special to many people of the world.
It was Christmas Morning.
The most evil dark lord on the face of the planet cracked open one eye, and decided he’d better get up. He was in quite a good mood for him in the early morning, though, so he also decided not to hit the first death eater he saw in the corridor with a “Crucio” - another morning routine.
Sitting up, Voldemort noticed a large black parcel sitting on the end of his bed. Odd, his death eaters normally presented him with gifts around noon, at the same time. Voldemort did not believe in Christmas Trees.
The Dark Lord eyed the parcel suspiciously. Finally, he picked it up and cautiously opened the wrapping. Inside was a black cube, about 30cm by 30cm. It was quite plain, with nothing on it as all. Then he spotted a large red button on one of the faces, evidently the top.
Being the overconfident dark lord he was, the High Lord Voldemort decided that this box was altogether to obvious to be any kind of a trap, bomb, or similarly unpleasant apparatus for generally kicking his butt with, and hit the big red button.
This, however, was a big mistake.
The box began to hum. It got louder and louder, and then suddenly-
Dum dum dum, da da dum, da da dummmm
Dum dum dum, da de dum, dum da dummmm.
Voldemort jumped back with shock, wand out and pointed straight at the thing on the end of his bed. It rose into the air, at about waist height, following him at about a metre’s distance. He didn’t have a clue what this tune was; only that it was dark and evil and coming from the box. Actually, it was kinda good...
After the tune had completed itself, it began again from the beginning. Voldemort didn’t mind. He’d decided he really liked this music. This was a brilliant Christmas gift. This was his opinion, until the box had played the tune again... And again... Then he decided he really should get to breakfast. He got up and headed for the door.
The box followed him.
He tuned back, grasped the box and tried to find the “off” switch.
There wasn’t one.
Getting frustrated, Voldemort hit the thing with a silencio.
It kept playing.
Really pissed off now, Voldemort stepped back to get a clear shot.
Avada kedavra!
Fully expecting the truly annoying box to explode, the Dark Lord immediately brought up a shield.
It didn’t explode. It kept right on playing. Only, now it played an even more annoying song that Voldemort again did not recognise, and it was neither dark nor evil:
“You can’t stop the music; Nobody can stop the music...”
“ARRRRRRRRRRG!”
Voldemort’s scream of outrage was heard all throughout the manor, and several death eaters came bursting into the room, only to find Voldemort running around the bed trying to escape the music, screaming his head off. The box was following behind, still playing its new tune, only louder now to be heard above the screaming.
“My Lord?!” One of the death eaters hollered at the top of his voice, trying to take in the situation.
“ARRRG! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT TURN IT OFF!!” Screamed the now hysterical ruler-of-the-world-to-be.
The death eaters all proceeded to attempt to curse the object into oblivion, with no success whatsoever. Finally, everyone was exhausted and had no option but to stand there, gasping, and waiting for the box to finish.
Which it did, after what seemed like an age. After being allowed to finish its song (whenever hit with an unforgivable it would begin again), it began playing the original tune again.
This was more bearable, and (still accompanied by the box) Voldemort and his invincible array of death eaters headed downstairs for breakfast.
As usual, all the death eaters currently eating breakfast (I thought they ate death? Oh well) stood when their master entered the room. They had plenty of warning he was coming. The tune preceded him and it was about thirty seconds after they heard him that he actually came sweeping into the room, black box bobbing along behind.
There was some suppressed laughter, which was quickly stifled, from some of the younger death eaters. There where slight smiles on every face, but no one was brave enough to openly laugh at the Master.
The tune played all through the Christmas breakfast and all through the morning while Voldemort sat in his large ebony throne directing a lot of evil people to do a lot of evil things, cursing them whenever the mood took him and generally making himself feel important.
By lunch, however, the repetitive tune was verging on unbearable, and all the Death Eaters sighed (silently) in relief when the master announced that he would be dining in his own private chambers.
Once it was (relatively) safe, a large discussion ensued as to the sender of the infamous black box, the origin of the incredibly irritating tune and bets were made as to how long the tune would continue for, and how long the Dark Lord would last without suffering from a (second) nervous breakdown.
As usual, Lucius Malfoy dominated the conversation. Crabbe made a few amusingly dim-witted comments. “I think it’s a muggle tune” was one – the fact that it was blindingly obvious in addition to the mention of the forbidden word caused Lucius to curse him several times and refuse him any lunch (Crabbe didn’t much care about the first punishment, though the second was harsh enough to bring him to tears).
Severus Snape was sitting unobtrusively in the corner, as was his wont, quietly observing his companions.
There was one slight difference on this day, though. If one looked very closely, one would see the amused glint in his eyes, and the slightly pained look that passed over his face every so-often.
After lunch had been consumed, the Death Eaters assembled in the throne room. Each carried a package of some kind.
After the lower ranks had presented their Noel offerings to their lord and master - mostly Dark books and artefacts, though one was foolish enough to offer a black and silver scarf and was duly punished (thought the Dark Lord did not destroy the scarf, or damage it in any way, instead placing it carefully under a rather large edition of “An Advanced Guide to Blood Rituals) - they departed, leaving behind the inner circle.
Thirteen black-cloaked figures formed a half-circle around their Lord. At their turn, each stepped forward, knelt, and placed a carefully wrapped parcel at the feet of the Dark Lord.
These were the presents Voldemort had been most looking forward to – his inner circle knew him as well as anyone could, and it showed in their choice of gift.
They ranged from a large collection of interesting new potions from Snape that the Potions Master had created himself just for this occasion; to a rather stunning black robe embroidered with snakes from Lucius.
Bellatrix Lestrange gave him the wizarding equivalent of a dartboard (specially modified to withstand any curse sent at it), with a cycling series of images including Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge; while Wormtails contribution was a pair of black fluffy slippers compete with warming charm - the stone floors were very cold in winter, and it would be undignified for a Dark Lord to have frostbitten toes.
During these proceedings, the evil tune echoed around the stone walls, each repetition further eroding Voldemort’s already-strained self-control.
By the time all the gifts had been distributed, the most evil man on the earth was beginning to visibly lose control. As the tune began its 629th repetition, the Dark Lord Voldemort snapped.
Ron and Hermione sat on the Hogwarts Express as it sped towards the wizarding school. They had both gone home for Christmas, though Harry had preferred to stay rather than return to the Dursley's.
Both were greatly looking forward to seeing their friend again.
When they stepped down from the carriages drawn by the invisible Thestrals, they saw Harry waiting for them, at the top of the steps to the Entrance Hall.
He was soon engulfed in a huge hug for Hermione, who plied him with questions as to how his holidays had been and whether he had finished all his schoolwork.
Ron laughed as he joined them, and together they walked into the Great Hall, which was slowly filling with chattering students.
Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Harry greeted his friends happily. When asked as to what he had done to fill the empty weeks, he only smiled and told his friends that he had “kept busy,” before deftly changing the subject.
Soon all the seats were filled, and Dumbledore stood to welcome everyone to the feast. Harry scanned the high table, meeting the eyes of Hagrid who grinned, the Headmaster who smiled and inclined his head in acknowledgement, and Professor Lupin who winked at him. Fred and George Weasley, who were visiting on Order business, were busy discussing a private matter between them and didn’t notice Harry glance at them.
Harry grinned at his teachers, and turned back to his friends and his dinner, joking happily with Ron and Neville and discussing the DADA essay Professor Lupin had set them with Hermione.
When they were all sufficiently stuffed, Dumbledore stood to dismiss them.
He was interrupted, however, by the sudden appearance of a large screen on the wall above the door to the Entrance Hall.
A look of puzzlement flashed across the old mans face.
A message appeared on the screen. “Please sit, Headmaster.”
Dumbledore did so, still looking confused.
“Thank you.” The message continued. “This is a late Christmas present to the entire school. We hope you enjoy it.”
The screen turned black, and then white writing formed slowly. “In tribute to the Marauders.” It read
Several of the professors turned to look at Lupin, but he was as lost as they were. Both he and the twins glanced at Harry, but the boy’s attention was focused on the screen.
The white writing faded, and two words took its place. “For Padfoot”
Harry turned and caught Remus’s eye. He winked quietly, while the hall filled with murmurs about these mysterious characters.
This message also faded, replaced by a video image of an owl winging its way through the air over mountains and forests.
The muggleborns were unsurprised, though a few had to explain to their wizard-raised friends what video was.
On screen, the owl continued to fly, approaching a large stone castle set in an inaccessible position on the side of a mountain.
Up at the High Table, one Professor Severus Snape had turned dead white as he realised what was about to happen.
The bird neared the massive structure, and entered a small window. It dropped a wrapped package onto the black sheets of a very large bed before making a hasty exit.
The figure in the bed was unidentifiable, so everyone sat in silent confusion watching the unknown person sleep.
Snape had covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. It took all his Slytherin training not to bang his head, hard on the table in front of him. Several of the professors were watching him in astonishment at this display, but none were brave enough to comment.
Suddenly, the silence was pierced by a very loud noise
Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbeepbeep. Beepbeepbe-
Clunk.
A curse was fired at the offending appliance, as the figure in the bed grudgingly awoke.
As they sat up, the hall was filled with screams of shock, and gasps of confusion.
Lord Voldemort rubbed sleep from his blood-red eyes, and blinked blearily as he tried to neaten his messy hair.
A few students stifled cries as the most feared dark lord of the century flopped back against his pillows, covering a yawn.
The students and teachers alike watched as the Dark Lord slowly got up, before noticing the package the owl had left on the end of his bed.
They watched in confused curiosity as he unwrapped and examined the black box.
But when he pressed the big red button, everything changed.
As the music began, the muggleborns listened for a few bars, before looking at each other incredulously and trying to stifle laughter.
Soon half the students were cacking themselves laughing. Dean Thomas had fallen out of his seat, and was rolling on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Several of the teachers were stifling laughter. Lupin was watching Harry bemusedly, while the twins were looking both amused and confused.
Snape had buried his face in his arms and was shaking either from laughter, exasperation or sheer mental anguish.
The purebloods were looking around in confusion, wondering what all the fuss was about.
“What’s so funny?” Ron asked Harry, unable to get a straight answer from Hermione who was doubled up with giggles.
Harry’s grin grew larger, and he told Ron “The tune – it’s very famous in the Muggle world. From a movie called Star Wars – it’s the theme for the main bad guy, Darth Vader.”
Ron looked blank. Harry just grinned at him, and gestured to watch the screen.
Voldemort was tiring of the tune, and cast the ‘silencio.’ No effect.
The hall quieted a bit. Everyone was watching, avidly awaiting what would happen next.
After the Unforgivable was fired, the second tune began. This time, the entire hall echoed with the sounds of mirth as the Dark Lord went into hysterics at the sound of this new, happy tune.
The sound of “You can’t stop the music” was heard even over the laughter and the loud noises of Voldemort going mad and a number of figures in black trying to both calm down their lord and master, and stop the music coming from the small black box.
Soon however, the music had returned to its first tune, and the box followed the Dark Lord and his minions out of the room.
Snippets of the day continued, including footage of the Dark Lord in his majestic throne, serpentine face composed except for the slight twitches of one blood-red eye and the convulsive tightening of his fingers; the lunchtime punishment of Crabbe and the 50 galleon bet from Lucius Malfoy that the Master would ‘lose it’ again before 3pm.
The school was now over their initial fear and shock at seeing the most evil man on the planet, and watched the proceedings in fascination, the music playing all the while.
Many known Death Eaters appeared on the screen, including several famous for escaping Azkaban that previous summer, but no new faces were seen.
Much to Snape’s relief, his only appearance was as a dark figure in the background, always unidentifiable though distinct.
After the mornings events had been skimmed through, there were a few shots of the presentation of gifts. The scarf brought a few chuckles, before the lower ranks left, and the Inner circle was left.
The hall watched as the Dark Lord was presented with his gifts. The dart-board brought even more laughter, while the slippers had half the students in helpless giggles.
Finally, the big moment arrived. The hall watched as the tune began again. The Dark Lord Voldemort turned to it, red eyes wide and glaring.
He opened his mouth, and everyone drew a collective breath.
The dark lord slowly approached the floating box, nostrils flared. He stopped, eyes still fixed on the box.
“Any minute now...” Lucius muttered to Bellatrix
The dark lord, completely oblivious to the gambling antics of his most faithful death eaters, screamed. It was a long howl of insanity, soaring out of audible pitch. His pale hands were clasped over his ears in an effort to stop the sound. He let go of his temper and with it, the control of his magic. His not insignificant power flooded out, pouring over the estate. Around him the castle began to crumble, cracks snaking up the walls and dust floating down from the ceiling.
The Death Eaters traded looks, and then Lucius took control. Quickly he marshalled the Inner Circle to get as much as possible out before the entire building collapsed.
Bellatrix raised her wand and carefully floated her sobbing lord and master out of the room. Voldemort was curled into a small ball, shaking and rocking back and forth.
Wormtail held the door for her, and together they got the hysterical Dark Lord away before the lower ranks saw what was happening.
The screen flashed with images of the lower panicking, racing around while the Inner Circle tried to save as much as possible, for a while before returning to follow the Dark Lord.
The students watched, holding back giggles as Voldemort was levitated out through a small side-entrance by Bellatrix and Wormtail. The box followed after them, still playing its tune.
The small group climbed a way up the hill, out of danger, before stopping. Bellatrix lowered her Master to the ground, where he curled into a tight ball, shaking and shivering.
The two Death Eaters watched as cracks ran up the sides of the once-mighty castle. Slowly, almost gracefully, it crumbled; large chunks of stone rolling away down the mountain.
The dull roar echoed around the hall, overriding every other noise. After what seemed an age, it faded.
The chirping of a single bird filled the silence.
The Dark Lord sat up slowly. The music had stopped! He looked around, and saw the ruin that had once been his fortress.
The box started glowing, and all eyes turned to it. Once more song burst from it, but a different one this time.
“Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing.”
The song echoed around the hall. Everyone was silent as it continued
“Who could live without it, I ask in all honesty, what would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me.”
As the song came to a close, the small black box let off a cloud of golden smoke that filled the screen. It slowly faded into blackness
The whole hall burst into huge cheers and applause. The large chamber rang with the shouts and yells of joy, humour and gratitude.
The staff clapped too, and Hagrid whistled loudly. Snape had stopped shaking, his face composed. But anyone who cared to look would see a small smile creep across his face.
The Headmaster was confused. He had had no advance warning of this unexpected presentation – a very new phenomenon. He was also not certain who had done it, though he had very strong suspicions. He looked down at Harry, and their eyes met. The deep emerald eyes were sparkling with humour, twinkling in a way very similar to that of a certain Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Dumbledore let his bemusement show on his face, and Harry grinned. A voice whispered in Dumbledore’s ear “It is amazing what one can hide when one opens ones eyes.”
The old man was shocked, but had to laugh.
Once the hall had finally calmed down, Dumbledore stood up again. “I would like to thank our mysterious benefactor for that most amusing gift.”
Applause swept through the hall again, though calmer this time.
Dumbledore waited for it to die down before continuing. “However, I believe that some of the students, particularly those wizard-raised, did not understand some of the jokes. So, to remedy this, this weekend we will have an, uh, movie night. On Saturday evening, after dinner, all students are invited to stay here in the Great Hall. We will be screening the Star Wars Trilogy.”
Again, the Headmaster had to pause and wait for the cheers to die down.
“We will also provide all cushions and blankets. The house-elves will whip up all necessary supplies in the way of sustenance. I hope to see you all there! Now, off to bed. Goodnight!”
As the students flooded out, heading for various common-rooms and dorms, Harry Potter joined his friends in discussing the happenings of the evening. Looking back, he met the tired amber eyes of one Remus Lupin. The lycanthrope raised a hand in farewell.
Harry waved back, and the two shared a sad smile. Padfoot would have been proud.
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Well I hope you all enjoyed that!
That...was funny...but doesn't make sense...did Snape send the box?
