Post by Cell on Jun 6, 2008 21:23:47 GMT -5
I wrote this attempting at humour. I hope you guys like it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"HEY CELL! GET UP!" A rock was thrown at Cell's head. Frieza wanted him up because he was bored. He did the same thing every... single... day.
Cell had been in hell for about 20 years now, not doing anything SUPER evil... or fun for that matter. Every day it was the same thing; he got up, went about his day, and went to sleep. BORING! This day seemed like it was going to be slightly different though.
"WELL?! Are you getting up or not?!" Frieza yelled at his sleepy friend.
"I'm getting up, I'm getting - DON'T YOU DARE THROW ANOTHER ROCK!" Cell told his "small" annoyance.
Cell got up and looked around the room with sleepy eyes. Frieza was standing there, crossing his arms, staring at Cell with an angry look. Cooler was sitting down, drinking coffee; Broly was lifting weights and grunting, "Kaka...rot. Kaka...rot" The Ginyu Force were doing their poses... AGAIN! And King Cold was putting on his make-up and singing to himself...
Those were Cell's prison mates... how depressing.
He sighed and walked over to Frieza. Frieza called over a guard to open the door so they could walk around outside. Frieza started talking about a new plan to get out of hell and get revenge on Goku. He told Cell his plans every morning, and none of them were any good at all.
"... so then we distract them. Yeah! Then we get them to find us the way out, they're so stupid, they'll do anything - ..."
"GRAAAHHH!!!!!!!!"
Cell and Frieza looked were the yell came from. Over in the distance, Napaa and Raditz were fighting again. The guards went in to try to break it up... again. Cell and Frieza just kept on walking, stuff blowing up and people yelling from all around them. They went over to the cafeteria for breakfast. Cell wasn't hungry, and he told Frieza that too. But the little goober wouldn't take no for an answer.
They were serving a bowl of oatmeal, COLD oatmeal. Cell's eyes were already bloodshot from all of the annoying things this morning. Frieza and Cell sat at their usual table and Frieza kept talking Cell's ear off. Cell just sat there, his eye occasionally twitching. Someone threw their oatmeal at Cell and thought it was funny... their head exploded a few seconds later.
Frieza kept talking and talking, non-stop. Cell finally had enough and said, "Frieza... it's not even 8' o clock. If you don't SHUT UP, I'm going to stangle you with one hand, and tear off your limbs with the other." That shut Frieza up real fast. They walked back to the cell and Cell fell down on his bed and slept.
Cell awoke several hours later, feeling a little less insane. He looked around, nobody was here. Yay! He'd have the whole room to himself and he could finally watch what he wanted on TV! He grabbed the remote and started channel surfing. Re-run... re-run... re-run... DAMN! All re-runs! They weren't kidding when they said it was only re-runs in hell. He decided to take a walk around hell. He trid to kick the door open, but it wouldn't budge. He kicked and kicked, but it wouldn't open. He started punching it and blasting it, but no, still wouldn't open.
He was pissed now. Cell charged up a huge energy attack and fired it, but no, still didn'topen. Cell yelled in frustration and started pounding his head hard on the door. He did this until he was unconscious. The door opened when he was knocked out. He woke up about a half-hour later, holding his head in pain.
Cell was happy to see the door opened though. He ran out and went to Blood Pond. He sat on the bench and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. Then some really fat guy was walking past the pond. He seemed winded... oh, no. Don'tsit down, don't sit down, PLEASE don't sit down Cell prayed. But unfortunately, the fat guy was extremely tired and sat down on the bench, right on Cell. The fat guy seemed comfortable and took out a sandwich and a drink and started having lunch.
"Geroffomeh!" The squished Cell yelled from underneath the man.
The fat guy looked around, but didn't see anyone. He shrugged and continued his meal. He sat there for about 20 minutes, and then it took him about 10 minutes to actually get up. By the time he was gone, Cell was as flat as a pancake. He shook it off and started walking again, going nowhere in particular. Cell was almost out of the area of the pond when someone on a bike hit him and he fell into blood lake. He came out, bitterly angry.
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, PUNK! It's not MY fault you died at age 15!" Cell shouted after the kid.
The kid came back and said, "What’d you say, freak?!"
"You heard me, so GROW UP ALREADY!" Cell screamed in the kids face.
"Well you know what, F*** YOU!" The kid said, while giving Cell the middle finger.
Cell glared at the kid, and then ripped off the kid's middle finger. The kid ran screaming in pain and horror. Cell laughed like a maniac, actually getting his way for once!
"CELL!!!" A booming voice called. In an instant, Cell was in King Yemma's office. The giant ogre like creature looked furious.
"You are NOT supposed to rip off people's fingers. That is against the rules!" Yemma yelled at Cell.
"I don't really care anymore, I'm sick of hell, I'm sick of the people, and more importantly, I'M SICK OF YOU! YOU don't let me have any fun!" Cell said, looking slightly psychopathic.
"Well I don't let you do anything that YOU want to do because all you want to do is cause TOTAL CHAOS AND FEAR!" Yemma said.
"And what’s wrong with that?!" Cell asked with a sharp tongue.
Yemma just face palmed himself and said, "So many things... Anyways, I'll just let you off with a warning. If you do ANYTHING you're not suppose to again, you will be put on Watcher's Duty."
Cell looked as though someone slapped across the face, but he said, "Fine, I won't do anything anymore, as long as I don't have to do... THAT..."
"Very well, now go back." Yemma said, pointing to the portal that was open. Cell walked through was back. He walked to the cafeteria to have dinner. It was meatloaf... eww... When Cell tried to eat it, it got up and walked away. Cell just sat there, wide eyed and one eye was twitching.
"Well I hope Cell will be OK that we gotta get out of hell for a day and he didn’t." Frieza said, slightly worried. "He could've gone, but I figured he wanted to sleep and have alone time."
"Well knowing Celly, he will have the BIGGEST hissy fit! You know how he can have such a temper sometimes... I know! I can bake him a cake, then he'll hopefully forgive us!" King Cold said, sounding uber flamboyant.
"Hey Cold, why don't you kick off your high heels and be a real man, you priss!" Napaa said harshly.
"Oh poo, who cares how I act? I know Celly LOVES it; he thinks it’s to die for!" Cold said affectionately.
"We care, and Cell hates the way you act to the extreme!" Jeice said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"You're just trying to make me feel bad! But it’s not working.” Cold said. He did a kind of ballerina twirl and everybody burst out laughing; all except for Frieza, how looked highly embarrassed.
They all got back to the cell, opened the door and turned on the lights. The room was a disaster, the furniture was overturned, there were cracks in the walls and floors, and some things were broken. They looked around until they found Cell. He was in a corner curled in a ball, eyes wide, blood shot, and an eye was twitching. He was bruised and looked like one of those people in a mental hospital.
"Cell's finally lost it..." Jeice whispered to the others.
"Re-runs... fat guy... annoying kid... Yemma... walking meatloaf... hell..." Cell whispered crazy-like.
"Just let him sleep. Hopefully he'll be fine tomorrow." Frieza said.
They all nodded and backed out of the room very slowly. They closed and locked the cell door and went to sleep somewhere else. This was only the beginning however... the beginning of Cell's life in hell! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I hope you guys liked my first tale of Cell's life in Hell. ;D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"HEY CELL! GET UP!" A rock was thrown at Cell's head. Frieza wanted him up because he was bored. He did the same thing every... single... day.
Cell had been in hell for about 20 years now, not doing anything SUPER evil... or fun for that matter. Every day it was the same thing; he got up, went about his day, and went to sleep. BORING! This day seemed like it was going to be slightly different though.
"WELL?! Are you getting up or not?!" Frieza yelled at his sleepy friend.
"I'm getting up, I'm getting - DON'T YOU DARE THROW ANOTHER ROCK!" Cell told his "small" annoyance.
Cell got up and looked around the room with sleepy eyes. Frieza was standing there, crossing his arms, staring at Cell with an angry look. Cooler was sitting down, drinking coffee; Broly was lifting weights and grunting, "Kaka...rot. Kaka...rot" The Ginyu Force were doing their poses... AGAIN! And King Cold was putting on his make-up and singing to himself...
Those were Cell's prison mates... how depressing.He sighed and walked over to Frieza. Frieza called over a guard to open the door so they could walk around outside. Frieza started talking about a new plan to get out of hell and get revenge on Goku. He told Cell his plans every morning, and none of them were any good at all.
"... so then we distract them. Yeah! Then we get them to find us the way out, they're so stupid, they'll do anything - ..."
"GRAAAHHH!!!!!!!!"
Cell and Frieza looked were the yell came from. Over in the distance, Napaa and Raditz were fighting again. The guards went in to try to break it up... again. Cell and Frieza just kept on walking, stuff blowing up and people yelling from all around them. They went over to the cafeteria for breakfast. Cell wasn't hungry, and he told Frieza that too. But the little goober wouldn't take no for an answer.
They were serving a bowl of oatmeal, COLD oatmeal. Cell's eyes were already bloodshot from all of the annoying things this morning. Frieza and Cell sat at their usual table and Frieza kept talking Cell's ear off. Cell just sat there, his eye occasionally twitching. Someone threw their oatmeal at Cell and thought it was funny... their head exploded a few seconds later.
Frieza kept talking and talking, non-stop. Cell finally had enough and said, "Frieza... it's not even 8' o clock. If you don't SHUT UP, I'm going to stangle you with one hand, and tear off your limbs with the other." That shut Frieza up real fast. They walked back to the cell and Cell fell down on his bed and slept.
Cell awoke several hours later, feeling a little less insane. He looked around, nobody was here. Yay! He'd have the whole room to himself and he could finally watch what he wanted on TV! He grabbed the remote and started channel surfing. Re-run... re-run... re-run... DAMN! All re-runs! They weren't kidding when they said it was only re-runs in hell. He decided to take a walk around hell. He trid to kick the door open, but it wouldn't budge. He kicked and kicked, but it wouldn't open. He started punching it and blasting it, but no, still wouldn't open.
He was pissed now. Cell charged up a huge energy attack and fired it, but no, still didn'topen. Cell yelled in frustration and started pounding his head hard on the door. He did this until he was unconscious. The door opened when he was knocked out. He woke up about a half-hour later, holding his head in pain.
Cell was happy to see the door opened though. He ran out and went to Blood Pond. He sat on the bench and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. Then some really fat guy was walking past the pond. He seemed winded... oh, no. Don'tsit down, don't sit down, PLEASE don't sit down Cell prayed. But unfortunately, the fat guy was extremely tired and sat down on the bench, right on Cell. The fat guy seemed comfortable and took out a sandwich and a drink and started having lunch.
"Geroffomeh!" The squished Cell yelled from underneath the man.
The fat guy looked around, but didn't see anyone. He shrugged and continued his meal. He sat there for about 20 minutes, and then it took him about 10 minutes to actually get up. By the time he was gone, Cell was as flat as a pancake. He shook it off and started walking again, going nowhere in particular. Cell was almost out of the area of the pond when someone on a bike hit him and he fell into blood lake. He came out, bitterly angry.
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, PUNK! It's not MY fault you died at age 15!" Cell shouted after the kid.
The kid came back and said, "What’d you say, freak?!"
"You heard me, so GROW UP ALREADY!" Cell screamed in the kids face.
"Well you know what, F*** YOU!" The kid said, while giving Cell the middle finger.
Cell glared at the kid, and then ripped off the kid's middle finger. The kid ran screaming in pain and horror. Cell laughed like a maniac, actually getting his way for once!
"CELL!!!" A booming voice called. In an instant, Cell was in King Yemma's office. The giant ogre like creature looked furious.
"You are NOT supposed to rip off people's fingers. That is against the rules!" Yemma yelled at Cell.
"I don't really care anymore, I'm sick of hell, I'm sick of the people, and more importantly, I'M SICK OF YOU! YOU don't let me have any fun!" Cell said, looking slightly psychopathic.
"Well I don't let you do anything that YOU want to do because all you want to do is cause TOTAL CHAOS AND FEAR!" Yemma said.
"And what’s wrong with that?!" Cell asked with a sharp tongue.
Yemma just face palmed himself and said, "So many things... Anyways, I'll just let you off with a warning. If you do ANYTHING you're not suppose to again, you will be put on Watcher's Duty."
Cell looked as though someone slapped across the face, but he said, "Fine, I won't do anything anymore, as long as I don't have to do... THAT..."
"Very well, now go back." Yemma said, pointing to the portal that was open. Cell walked through was back. He walked to the cafeteria to have dinner. It was meatloaf... eww... When Cell tried to eat it, it got up and walked away. Cell just sat there, wide eyed and one eye was twitching.
"Well I hope Cell will be OK that we gotta get out of hell for a day and he didn’t." Frieza said, slightly worried. "He could've gone, but I figured he wanted to sleep and have alone time."
"Well knowing Celly, he will have the BIGGEST hissy fit! You know how he can have such a temper sometimes... I know! I can bake him a cake, then he'll hopefully forgive us!" King Cold said, sounding uber flamboyant.
"Hey Cold, why don't you kick off your high heels and be a real man, you priss!" Napaa said harshly.
"Oh poo, who cares how I act? I know Celly LOVES it; he thinks it’s to die for!" Cold said affectionately.
"We care, and Cell hates the way you act to the extreme!" Jeice said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"You're just trying to make me feel bad! But it’s not working.” Cold said. He did a kind of ballerina twirl and everybody burst out laughing; all except for Frieza, how looked highly embarrassed.
They all got back to the cell, opened the door and turned on the lights. The room was a disaster, the furniture was overturned, there were cracks in the walls and floors, and some things were broken. They looked around until they found Cell. He was in a corner curled in a ball, eyes wide, blood shot, and an eye was twitching. He was bruised and looked like one of those people in a mental hospital.
"Cell's finally lost it..." Jeice whispered to the others.
"Re-runs... fat guy... annoying kid... Yemma... walking meatloaf... hell..." Cell whispered crazy-like.
"Just let him sleep. Hopefully he'll be fine tomorrow." Frieza said.
They all nodded and backed out of the room very slowly. They closed and locked the cell door and went to sleep somewhere else. This was only the beginning however... the beginning of Cell's life in hell! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I hope you guys liked my first tale of Cell's life in Hell. ;D
[M:-5]
